There won’t be anyone home besides myself. Friends and loved ones have been pushed away. I’ve been trying to use this time to think about ways to get better. Ways to change but something inside puts a halt to those thoughts…
I don’t want to get better. Things just need to cease going on. Whether it’s the world or just my world. Because the colors been drained, there is no more energy to care. Taking something hot or sharp to soft skin is all I really put effort into. If not that then other ways to wind up hurt. Brusies and scrapes, nicks and cuts…never have I felt so much relief. Maybe I need to stop with all the pleasantries and get serious.
I’ve thought about going on one hell of a car ride but sometimes I fancy the thought of antagonizing an officer. There’s been so much tension lately with the public and being of a mixed background one could easily jump to a rash decision. I feel like I shouldn’t let the thought of pain or gore stop me from reaching the other side. I know I definitely don’t belong here, I’m a monster. And the air I breathe is stolen, perhaps it’s time to return it.