I’m so exhausted and lonely. I am so alone. I just want to cut open my wrists. All I do is have pain. Fb’s come and go. No family. I guess god wants me to come home? i don’t know. all i see is a bad future. where i live is such hell. a woman actually posted a “go away” sign on her door. i can hear the new neighbor laughing thru the walls. wish she would shut up, wish i wasnt crying. i dont know how to keep doing this. tried to call a friend, she’s always busy. this is not a life. so much pain. so much struggle. so confused by it all now. all i can do is blame me. whatever i need is too hard to get anymore. if you cant function in society do you deserve to live? i guess not. this apt is so cold all the time its making me physically sick and the second hand smoke seems to be kicking in. is there any hope. i once hoped god cared but god doesnt b/c im alone. what do i do. i dont know. why do i have to die to live. why did he hurt me. why. this isnt bad its bad. why make me to break me. im just asking. just want relief and peace.
im scared of medication the new shrink didnt even call me back??? what is that???
6 comments
I know how you feel. I am tired of fighting with no apparent hope of getting better. I have the meds but they arent helping much. Id like to say hang in there or there must be a bright side but I am having a hard time seeing one myself. They say god has a purpose but i sure as hell cant see the reason for this. I just try to make it to tomorrow. Make it to tomorrow and go from there
I understand every word you say.
I will sit with you until this passes. It seems like it never does, but know one person at least understands.
Safe hugs.
You write beautiful feelings, so that makes you very pleasant to be with, to chat, and hang out. So you are so valuable! It is unfair that you are going through this, but at least, please stick to the thought that you are potentially fully capable of making things better. You are not someone with a terminal illness or very advanced age etc, you still have a life. So depression is just completely distorting the way you see things. If I lived near you I am sure we would spend long afternoons chatting.
best regards
Human beings have been questioning life for a long time. Sometimes we get to a point in our lives where we just have to stop and ask why. Why all the pain and suffering. I hope you understand that it is completely alright to ask that question. There is someone that is in the same situation you are in. There are people living their dream life and there are people living their worse nightmare.
Sometimes life is frustrating but there is hope even though you can’t see it. You aren’t alone in your suffering. There are so many wonders on our earth and in the universe. Your life is important and everyone’s existence is unique. I understand why you feel like God doesn’t care but you would be shocked if you saw all of the answers and found out how much He cares.
(God cared for His son but His son had to go through the worst amount of suffering)
It is something suspicious about Humanity’s suffering and one day, it will not exist.
There are a lot of great opportunities that come in our life but sometimes the pain in this world covers it up and hides it. In some kind of way, we have to decide to remove the veil of darkness off of our lives and recover. You shouldn’t have to do it alone, it isn’t easy when you don’t have any friends or family to support you. Instead of cutting yourself or hurting yourself, be comforted in a different way and let Hope’s warm glow brighten your life.
We all need to keep trying and get better but I completely understand if you need to stop in a moment of silence and question the pain and suffering.
i am sorry that you are in this state, i am sorry that the apartment is so cold. I am sorry that people are horrible to you.
well,i hope i am not offending anyone here… But there is alot of suffering in the world. All over the world. Where is God? Why isn’t he helping all the people who suffer, including yourself? Where is he?
again i am sorry if my comment is offensive,
I don’t think your post was offensive at all.
Just like our earth has physics, the reality we live in has spiritual laws that creates friction between our connection with God’s help and protection. One day the negative boundaries will be broken, and everything will be how it was intended to be from the beginning.
until then God is still working in between the barricades of our reality, stopping bad events and even preventing situations that were unaware of. Restoring the human race is complicated but so is our universe. If a creator created such of a complex reality, then that very same creator would know how to fix it too.
This might sound confusing, but we were created for our own good. Humanity’s story is extremely complex.
we impact each others lives. That is why it’s important for us to not hurt people and to not forget that God can forgive us for anything when we ask. We will have a better life if we forgive ourselves and others. God has influenced many people to help each other and wants us to make
decisions that are good for our life. We are imperfect but that is what makes us human. It’s perfectly natural.
If you ever get confused or start to doubt, just remember that some bad situations were turned into a plan to fix a defect that humanity was born with. For example, the garden of Eden tragedy was made into a plan to permanently destroy evil, and wipe out the passions for people’s evil desires. That plan is still in the process of being completed.
Loneliness and suffering was not a part of God’s permanent design for our lives.
Keep holding on because sometimes, it’s hard to be strong.