2 years

so i am thinking about breaking up with my girlfriend of 10 years to focus on finding a good job with my education. She is all i had. trust me i wont find someone else to love me. just trust me (just trust me). I am focused on finding a good job soon, or im ending my life. Its that simple. if i find a job, i will contact her. she is not focused on a job, and it is hurting me to stay with her right now. im totally alone. i want to live, so im giving myself 2 years to find a good job, or im ending my life. i refuse to be homeless. i miss her already. also, i will focus on improving my chronic health issues, and improving my mental health. i will  stay in contact with her, and her son (who i consider my own). 2 years, and then im done with my life. So, i will work REALLY hard to find a job. i will end my life through electrocution if i dont find a job. im not joking here. please, i live in America. if anyone has any leads, i can tell u my education and experience. Im very sad about all this, but its time for me to be strong.