I have a lot of time on my hands almost everyday and it gives my mind a lot of room to think. What I ask myself most often is if I honestly matter? Do I even have a pirpose in life? And if so, why does it seem like my purpoae is to only cause people pain. I don’t matter to anyone, they all just act like they care so they can get something out of it. I am sick of this. What do I do besides leave everything behind?
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Life is rough, I won’t deny it. I’m not even trying to convince you that your outlook is wrong and that “The world is a wonderful place!” (Or whatever else someone will shove down your throat for $5.95). I’m just going to tell you what I’ve been trying to learn. Sometimes a terrible situation is out of your control but, you can be there for someone who needs you (for example; I have a close friend who decided to go to university in England. We’ve shared many private details about ourselves and intimate moments together. Ironically, she’s the only person I feel I could ever truly love but, I have to let her go and cannot follow due to my own dysfunctional family problems). So there must be a smiling face that wouldn’t smile without you.
Finally, following the previous idea, you can distance yourself from those who don’t care. Find a hobby/coping method, I didn’t like cutting (still burning occasionally) so I play instruments, sing and beatbox (when alone cause of family again) and I write songs.
Don’t give up hope just yet.
I’m the last one to say (especially to a stranger) that nice is necessarily worth living. And, had that been your question, I’d not even have bothered to respond, as I’d really had nothing of any value to say.
But on the issue of whether or not you matter, unless you are one of those VERY rare and VERY unfortunate people to have no friends or family in your life, then please remember (and, no, this is just a froo-froo-ism): to all the world, you are a lone, insignificant person…but to at least one lone, insignificant person out there, you are all the world!