It’s been so long. Been living with this pain for 3 years. I’ve tried and tried to get better. Yes I’m only 19 but I’m done. I’ve even gone and told a few friends what is going on and nothing I do and nothing they say helps. Lately I’ve hit an all time low I’ve stopped sleeping, started blasting music all night to drown out my thoughts, and then I go and hang out with friends and put on that fake smile and act happy. I’m drowning in my own pain but every time I try to get the guts to kill myself I can’t… because I can’t do that to my friends and family. My older sister can tell I’m hurting or is at least suspicious but I refuse to let her help and tell her I’m fine and no one else in my family knows. I’m done and looking for a way out. Does anyone know how to over power the guilt? If so please tell me that’s all that’s stopping me anymore.
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7 comments
Please don’t die. So many people would miss you. I don’t mean to guilt trip you, but is all their hurt worth using a permanent solution to a temporary problem?
You still fucking think it is a permanent solution to a temporary problem? They just fucking said it has been going on for 3 years already, you think depression just fucking goes away? You probably still think that suicide is selfish. It’s the most selfless thing you can do.
@TheVoidInside I do not think suicide is selfish. If I thought that, I wouldn’t have tried 5 times. Nor would I be planning to try again tomorrow. I don’t want to see others die when things could get better. I understand that it’s been 3 years, but some people have suffered longer and gotten through it. All I was trying to do was help a person to not die. No, suicide is not selfish. I understand that. I find your comment extremely rude and your use of profanity offensive. It does not get your point across any farther, just so you know. Now I kinda have a bone to pick with you…
@TheVoidInside I agree with a pot of what you said and thank you for understanding. Just can we tone it down a bit I don’t like the agrees I’ve profanity especially when I’m already upset.
@Streamers I don’t feel like my problem is temporary. It’seems been going on for 3 years that I’be been miserable. I have reasons that if you want to read my other 2 posts might make more sense. Even then my problems run very deep and even when I’m happy still can strike me out of nowhere and make me miserable. At this point I live with family cause I can’t hold a job and go to school but am struggling not because I can’t do it but because I’m too miserable to put in effort. I don’t want to keep on living because my problems never get better and every time I try to get up something makes it worse.
It will get better. It doesn’t feel like it now, but it will. I’ve been dealing with depression for two years, and I’ve yet to see the light at the end of the tunnel. But just knowing its there gets me closer every day. It will get better. It will. I promise. Just make sure you’re alive when it does. Okay?
That’s what my friend says all the time. I just have trouble seeing it. It’s been so long and I just seem to get worse. I don’t have strength left to fight much longer.