Hi… this is my first post… I’m really young and stupid, but, I’m not interested in telling anyone my real age.
I had a few suicide attempts now, which I had no courage to continue. Yes, yes, suiciding is the coward’s way out, escaping and running away from your problems. But, it’s not as easy as you think it is. Well, I stopped those suicide attempts because I still care for the people around me… I was thinking, “What if they blame themselves because I killed myself? What if they think that its entirely their fault and choise to ruin their lives as well?” I know, I know, I’m a weird person that cares too much for the people around him. I’m the invisible person, the support character in someone else’s story, the one who is always ignored… But, there are still some people that care, even just a bit of the people that I know…
But, right now, I’m just in so much pain. SO MUCH. I’m having anxiety attacks all over. I can’t breathe when I’m stressed… This life is just so sad and miserable. My group of friends don’t make me comfortable anymore. They used to be the only people that I fit in. They don’t judge me and everything… But now, I don’t feel comfortable and again, like before, turned into a person that prefers to be a lone wolf. Well, its not that bad because you don’t need to streess out to know what other people really mean to say, just trying to undestand who you are is too much of a burden already…
3 comments
your age does not matter you sound like a soul that cant find comfort and peace to rest stressed and depressed. it is ok of you to take distance from friends but still show them you are here and you still want to be with them try to mabe talk with them about how you feel and you only want to talk to a few from time to time. suicide is a bad thing to do and it look like a quick way out but trust me you shuld not ask if they blame them selves but you shuld ask can i forgive myself and can they move on. you dont have any reason to listen to me. i just wanted to give my word to you because ive been there so stay strong and find the small an pretty parts of the day because they are there.
Hey there, just wanted to say i agree with the boy. Taking a step back from friends once in a while can give you a little (though sometimes much needed) breathing space but I would lise contact altogether. Never worry about others blame/intentions when you have suicide on your mind. The most important thing is self importance and understanding why you feel that way then you might be able to work on supporting you from the inside out 🙂 Talking to a close friend or two about your mindset is a good start but there are plenty of people here to listen too should you feel like venting in ‘private’.
Take it easy kid, I was young once…and I’m still stupid lol some things never did change for :-p
* me