my story

sooo…, I guess I’m saying my story now. Mainly I’m saying it because a lot of people that share their stories feel better about themselves but really I don’t think I will. I just felt like I should so here it starts. So I’m in year 8, I go to a pretty crap school and to add to that coming home isn’t that fun either.  I first started my school last year and I was soo weird in person and so very unpopular but when I got home I’d be this little lonely sad kid. Things got better, I still got bad mood swings but who doesn’t? Then at the start of year 8 a bit after Christmas I got bad, real bad. I cut exactly 101 times on each of my arms because that was my favourite abandoned house number … Don’t ask… Then when I ran out of space I moved onto my thighs, then hips, then legs. I was coping so badly. I didn’t seem like it to others though. Then I got better, I was completely fine. But as every story goes I went back to being worse in spring. More cuts. More pain. More sadness. Depressing music. Depressing room. Depressing life. I was really popular before and I lost everyone as fast as lightning. I had ‘friends’ but I knew they all bitched behind my back, they still do. My cuts have faded mostly now but nothing has really changed. I block out people by listening to heavy metal on full blast. Most people think I’m a physcopath now. I cry myself to sleep everynight. My family act like they hate me, I do know they love me though. But even thought I know and everyone else knows I’m not okay, I still continue to pretend I am when people ask me if I’m alright. I guess that’s all for now, I should probably get back to staring into black with my music and enter school (hell) tomorrow and be mocked again, but I’m used to it…..