Why is it that every time I try to end it all my conscious is like “No you can’t do this.”? Is it because I don’t have the guts to actually cut my vein?Or is it because I still have hope that I can conquer this battle? Yet, I can still harm myself? And not think twice about what I’m doing. Maybe I can conquer this battle or my demons are just playing around with me.
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the human spirit is very strong in us; even the most damaged among us will always hear a voice that advocates for life.
What moneymanhit said is true. The human spirit is strong and we all have within us some kind of natural instinct to try and survive. And I also believe that you sir do have hope and you can win this battle and go on and have a good life. I know if you focus on trying to overcoming your issues instead of cutting you will see things get better for yourself. I wish you good luck.
When I hear those words in my head I wonder too. I think it’s a combination of things…
1. I still hope I’ll find happiness but don’t and i end up in a vicious cycle.
2. We grew up in a society that says that we can’t so it’s embedded in our brains.
3. I’m not quite ready yet.
4. Fear.
It’s not demons, but rather mother nature playing with you. I dont know you one way or the other, but since you’re here I’ll assume you want to kill yourself right? Well the reason why you hear that voice saying “don’t do it” is because you are trying to erase billions of years of evolutionary work off the face of the planet, and that’s not that easy. As an animal (which we are), we’ve probably come one of the longest ways, evolutionarily, and our cells have survived for a long time. Because of this, its hard to just sit down one afternoon and say “it’s over”. Your cells didn’t come all this way to be snubbed out by their own host. They have a mind of their own which quickly becomes yours by proxy. Do you want to have sex? No, but your cells do. If you don’t have sex, how could your cells insure their own survival? They couldn’t. Which is why everyone wants it. But make no mistake, your cells are in control. For some people, their conscious might be telling them that they should kill themselves. It could be because their Dad’s mentally unstable cells were passed on to them and so now they have no choice in the matter. No one’s really as in control of themselves as they think they are, that’s just an illusion. And just as a disclaimer, this wasn’t an anti-suicide post or me trying to talk you out of it, just something I’ve found to be true in my many ongoing attempts.