I’ve always had depression but I’ve never had the heart to tell my family. Some friends know, the ones I can really trust, but for the most part it’s all a secret. Anyway, there’s one ‘friend’ who I thought I could trust. I told her about my gender identity and sexuality the other day in confidence and she didn’t support it. I ended up having an argument with her and she ended it by using my depression against me. She said she could make me self harm and starve myself and even kill myself. She didn’t have to say anything else. I think she might have gotten the best of me. Ever since I’ve had this non stop train of suicidal thoughts, and I really do need help. I just don’t want people to give me all their sympathy. Sometimes it’s nice to know people care but I don’t just want to be ‘that depressed girl’. I want to be someone. I don’t know who I am anymore. I guess I thought that suicide will solve the problem. I really do just want someone there to fill the empty space.
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2 comments
what do u feel your gender identity to be? dont feel bad. i told some fuckin christian ***** a few weeks back and she essentially told me im going to kill myself because of the mental disease that it is and/or im goin to hell. her solution? genius one might i add is to continue to stuff my true self for the rest of my days and kill myself anyways from the deep self conflict and inner hatred of a life lived as a facade and actress.
I think its horrible that your friend said that and no one deserves to be treated that way and I also want to someone to fill my empty space and I also haven’t told my family I’m depressed or any of my friends