I’m at the point of buying a gun. The VFW next door to my apartment building has gun shows/sales every other weekend. I hate guns, but now I need one. Again, I feel like I’m losing my mind.
Even though I’m no longer taking my heart meds, it’s not happening fast enough considering how utterly lonely and miserable I am. My chest feels as if a huge weight is crushing me. The tears and sobbing come without warning. Why do I have to be alive? Why can’t I just drift off to sleep and leave this horrible world behind? 60 years of this crappy existence has been enough.
Yes, I need a gun.
3 comments
Instead of buying a gun…. have you considered reading The Peaceful Pill? I fully respect your right for self-determination… there are other ways that you could endeavor with that you may like better. There’s also a website called lostallhope.com that might be worth checking out.
I feel for you. I appreciate your right for self-determination. I wish you peace.
Aug 07, 2015 @ 01:51:25
Lostallhope.com is the very first site I visited 5 years ago. Pills are the least reliable method for ending ones life. My first choice is the Golden Gate, and I still may go that way. But if I had a gun I wouldn’t hesitate to use it right now.
I’m just worn down and tired of everything. Most of all I just cannot bear the loneliness. I have absolutely no reason to keep on living. Useless and without worth.
Thanks for your kind understanding.
Lostallhope.com has lots of wrong facts. I’ve read it a couple of times in the last 3 years and they never bothered to fix those. I don’t like giving “ideas” so to speak, but you might consider reading the peaceful pill, like Mark_1981 suggested. Guns and jumping of a bridge can end up pretty badly (not in a fatal, definitive way), but i guess you already know that.
I totally get you about nights tho, when everything is quiet things seem to hit you the most (and chronic insomnia + loneliness doesn’t help).