Slowly losing hope

Think firstly you should detach yourself from
The jail guy. Not really sounding like someone you want to be associated with if they make you feel like you owe them. What ever it was. I don’t even want to know tbh. But secondly think you need a new job. Move to a busy city with lots to do. I know dropping everything and getting a new job new life is hard id love to if my other half wanted to aswell but maybe it’s for the best. Fresh starts are amazing and bring up more opportunities if you have children move them to! Nice new school would be nice a better happier area. I know this is what would help me but unsure if it would help you. But maybe something to think about? You got one life might as well give it your all or die trying. If I do end up killing myself least I can’t say I tried. With your job your not making money anyway? New job might be better with better people. You need people encouraging you. Something I don’t have either sept my other half. Think people are so wrapped up in their own shit to realise the way they make others feel. Not sure if it’s something you see more with age but it’s definitely getting worse people are turning more into pricks as time goes on!