When I was last on this site, I was on the brink of committing suicide, as I had been for, in retrospect, about five years. It was an awful period of my life, and I would never like to revisit it. However, I feel that it is necessary for me to come over here because of how this site effected my life.
After I had a particularly painful episode, during which I threatened to drink bleach and simultaneously overdose on various painkillers, I conceded defeat and got put on an antidepressant. For many people, these medications are rarely effective the first time you take them. They usually take several tries before you find the “right” medicine. In my case, however, I was put on a lighter antidepressant (Wellbutrin) and, to my surprise, it worked. That was the first time in a while that I had been truly lucky, and I can only imagine how my life would have been changed if I just sucked it up a few years earlier. I probably wouldn’t have failed my grade eleven classes (though I was able to turn my grades around once I started the pills.) I also could have been spared numerous uncomfortable visits to the mental ward, which, weirdly, feels very uncomfortable.
Nowadays I feel much better. I am doing well in school, and I’m even trying to write my own novel, though, I’m not going to lie, I’m slacking off a bit. However, even when I’m being lazy and doing nothing, I feel so much happier than I did two, three years ago. The medication has changed my life, and my honest recommendation would be for others to try it as well. Don’t get me wrong, I was nervous too, but now I feel a ton of regret for all the pain and suffering I caused those around me. I was sick, but I took advantage of them so I wouldn’t have to face reality, and for that I am extremely sorry. I hope that all of you, should you decide to get treated, enjoy a similar level of success.
The bottom line is that depression is a medical condition that you can’t get over on your own. If left untreated, it can ruin lives, and that is truly unnecessary.
2 comments
I’m glad that medication has and is working for you!
Wonderful to hear that you are doing better 🙂
On a personal level, this gives me a lot of hope. In about 48 hours I’ll be seeing my doctor to get on medication myself. The process worries me, hearing your story puts me at ease somewhat.