I broke up with my girlfriend of three years almost two months ago now, and for her it was over a bit longer than that (I left the place we were living together at two months ago). I think I still love her but she already has a new boyfriend. I have been trying to get over her but I think it’s getting worse. I feel so empty and alone. I had a relatively good life before but now I feel like nothing can get better. I’m very insecure about myself.
I kind of know that it was my fault that she lost love for me. We were together most of the time because of our jobs (translating from home) and I always wanted to be together, always wanted her attention, both mentally and physically. I was too needy. Since I’m kind of a gamer, I focused on computer games too much and didn’t go out with her on walks and such in the evenings, like I should have. I basically messed up.
I still want her back, although I know that’s impossible. And I’m afraid that, even if I find someone new, in the future, maybe I will mess it up again, maybe I won’t know how to behave properly again. Also I don’t make a lot of money, I get by, but nothing fancy, so I’m scared that that might also become a problem. We lived in a house and I had enough money back when we were together and I was happy, because everything was relatively well, before it started going downhill.
Now I know that she is happy with her new boyfriend and at the same time I’m happy for her and I also feel sad that she isn’t with me and happy anymore, like we were in the beginning. I cannot really focus on anything, I always think about her. The only time I get my mind off her briefly, is when playing the same stupid computer games that were part of the problem. I’m very insecure about the future, I feel that I cannot live my life alone. Everyone keeps saying that I have to love myself first and then I will find love again but I just cannot find the strength to love myself. So I’m basically screwed.
So now I think about suicide all the time, but I’m too scared to try anything. Also I have my mom and my sister that would miss me a lot, I assume.
Therefore I’m just existing right now, not living, I think about the happy times I had and that she’s happy with someone else and I get even sadder.
And I know my story is nothing new, but this awful feeling I have is new to me and I don’t want it. I cannot bear it.
What am I supposed to do…
5 comments
hey man. if its meant to be she’ll come back. let her go man. in a pro at letting people go now. it hurts but you push through the pain and you come out stronger. trust me.
Now I actuslly like people coming and going in my life. Im a lone alpha wolf at heart. I dont need anybody.
Make a change..? Its like the first thing to do, to tackle the prob, no matter will u find love again. Just rmb playing those computer games is the cause of losing your ex, so u can stay away from those i guess.. If you still love her, maybe try to do something she would like you to do, its kinda motivating, but you also have to bear in mind that she probably wont love you back, or you may fail. Just hang in there, find interest..? Find friends, and maybe focus on your mother n sis, seems in good relationship as u mentioned..? Thatll hlp u i guess.. Ugh suicidal.. Its always bothering me, when hesitation is always there. Maybe thats it, just leave it, ull try when u really want to, u wont ever when ure not ready, good luck anyway, think twice
Greetings.
#1 Do what you want to do.
#2 Don’t brood over it. Relationships are transient and are meant to end at one point. You will forget your ex in due time or at least won’t feel bad about your breaking up.
#3 If you will still feel like finding someone to create an illusion of happiness with there are plenty fish in the sea.
Get well !
there’s some awesome advice in these comments buddy. Hikari and Kills nailed it
I had a problem with relationships, I never had one. I was never in love never kissed a guy. I’m 25 years old. Yeah.. I used to feel really sorry for myself. I am surrounded by couples in love, talking about how deeply they are in love, how wonderfully they make love to each other, how awesome it is to have some one to share their lives. I found a way to stop feeling bad, I decided that I am born different and that no guy would ever like me or love me. I made it clear to myself that I am going to be single forever and I lost complete hope of being with another person. I made peace with myself. And this helped me to ease my pain. No longer the fact of me being single bothers me. No longer does my couple friends or romantic scenes in a movie bother me. I became indifferent and lost the huge pain associated with being alone.