Why did I even fucking keep trying to find a place to live because now I do have some place to go and I’m just going to disappoint more people when I kill myself in the near future! Now it’s back to being him more than my being homeless. I can’t even talk to him without him finding some way to push me away and dig the knife in deeper like he wants to fucking hurt me all the time!! He can’t just leave it alone and be my friend. he has to constantly push me away and dismiss my feelings as not real and bullshit! I can’t fucking take this!!
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
4 comments
whos him and why do you let him push you around
If you actually want to stay friends, distance yourself from him for a bit while you both calm down…kinda sounds like it might not be worth keeping him as a friend though.
I’m glad you found a place to live!! A big step to a new beginning.
I want to say “don’t worry about letting others down until it actually happens, otherwise you just are inviting it to happen”, but I know how you feel. I worry about that everyday. I just try not to focus on that and just keep moving forward. One small step at a time. My small step today was washing my sheets and making the bed…it sounds lame, but with how things are going that’s a big accomplishment for me today. Don’t forget to pat yourself on the back for the small stuff.
Wait, did I misread your post? Did you move back with him? Is that why you think you’ll disappoint others?
No I don’t live with him. I don’t see us being friends and it hurts like hell. He just DOES NOT understand, get it or accept that I have feelings. It’s all about him and his way or the highway. He refuses to listen to anything I have to say. It’s convenient for him to believe my feelings aren’t real so he doesn’t have to face anyone’s reality but his own. I can’t deal with it anymore.