“And he sat all that day, and he kept the egg warm. And he sat all that night through a terrible storm…” (Horton Hatches the Egg by Dr. Seuss) bahaha. It gets me every time. How many have worn his same expression? Have had life run us instead of us running it? Although in the end Horton is rewarded for his faithfulness and integrity, truth be told many of us come to find that “Job” (Job 1-22 the Bible) is simply cursed and the sufferments were for naught. I read about Dr. Phils “Evil 8s” and it dawned on me this is myraid depressed person’s problems. Horton’s problem was Maysie bird, Job’s problem was (parabolically speaking) the Higher Power and Satan. If we repress our true identity and ideals to make others happy, if we dont retaliate against persons that are in the way of our well being we will be like Horton and Job without the happy ending of a life partner/helper or inner peace/gratitude come what may. I’m sure Maysie bird knows where the orphanage is and am sure “god” and Satan can hear your stance to settle their wager for how faithfull you are in a different manner.
But be heard…never swallow your pride, because without it you become a carpet everyone walks on. It’s not worth it to be polite, I’ve done it and yes it leads to denying your needs and wants to be approved by others. “Good people are like candles, they burn themselves up to give light to others.” Don’t burn all the way however, why give with an uncheerful heart anyway, be yourself and don’t wear a mask. Let’s start being honest. If Amy doesn’t want to go to the dance with you but does it out of pity wouldn’t you much rather appreciate her honesty so you can go with someone that actually enjoys your company? Don’t worry of hurting others, you can be polite of how you say something but never don’t say it, because you are either leading someone on by denying your true intentions or you are forcing good will when you don’t have it…which creates bitterness/resentment instead of happiness and satisfaction.
“Stand up for your beliefs even if you stand alone.” Each of us mature at different stages, if Abe says to Dan he doesn’t want to date just get freaky in bed, should Dan feel predisposed to slap him, cry all summer vacation and throw in the towel in dating? No, Abe was being honest so Dan should be grateful he didn’t hide his intentions like many do just to get in bed with someone and had forced their good will to take you on dates for months when they really hated it and you.
This following quote described what I learned to do after years of taking off my masks and knowing who the “Evil 8s” were in my life or I in theirs, and removing their presence to start living how I’d like regardless of their lingering or not and above all to be truthfull even if it hurts because living a lie damages most. After all lashes from a friend are better than kisses from the enemy which you become when you wear a mask to please others. I know there are instances like your mom on her death bed and you don’t want to confess you have no desire to run her dog grooming business or sensitive stuff like that in which health and income are keeping your tounge tied but just remember what’s hidden in darkness comes to light and you must realize this…to be happy again…
Not all toxic people are cruel and uncaring. Some of them love us dearly. Many of them have good intentions. Most are toxic to our being simply because their needs and way of existing in the world force us to compromise ourselves and our hapiness. They aren’t inherently bad people, but they arn’t the right people for us. And as hard as it is, we have to let them go. Life is hard enough being around people who bring you down, and as much as you care, you can’t destroy yourself for the sake of someone else. You have to make your well-being a priority. Whether that means breaking up with someone you care about, loving a family member from a distance, letting go of a friend, or removing yourself from a situation that feels painful – you have every right to leave and create a safer space for yourself.
_Daniell Koepke_