I’ve been so focused on music.. And futures.. And now i can’t help but sit here and feel that everything is becoming just pointless. I haven’t had this feeling for a long time. A feeling of wanting to die.
But that’s the problem. I don’t want to die. I just want certain things that don’t exist… I can write songs to try to capture this perfect world.. Or write stories where it’s real… But all of that is just ignoring the reality. The reality that, none of that is real. It’ll never be real.
I see long endless plains and hills in my paradise. Nature everywhere. Freedom. Exploration. No boundaries. Love. Lake. Rivers. Streams. mountains. Being one with the world.
I’ll try to keep going as i am… Maybe i’ll get to go to Michigan one of these days. Maybe things will be better there. I’m really not sure.
it’s the best i can do right now.
Goodnight people.