Still not getting any better. Laugh at everything. Interact with anyone. But still none. I still want to die (But I can’t. A lot of things to reconsider. It’ll be my fault if mother would go crazy, father would go back to drugs. My brothers’ lives would be affected. My girlfriend would be depressed again. So many things to reconsider but sometimes I just want to end it all.)
So, I’ll just cut and burn instead of committing suicide. Alternatives. I still want to die.
A coward. That’s what I am. I kept on running and running and running away.
In the end, I’ll just cry. Nothing changed. Nothing.
6 comments
I see you’ve been around here for a while and in serious pain. Do you have a therapist? Have you tried antidepressants?
You are not a coward. Life has thrown sand in your gearbox and you are locked up. You need a mechanic to fix it. You can’t think your way out of it. There are alternatives you haven’t even thought of.
Peace be with you.
I did see the family doctor once. And I was supposed to have an appointment with a recommended psychiatrist tomorrow but was moved on Monday. As for antidepressants, my mom isn’t keen on it.
Thank you for believing that. š
(Peace be with you…) And also with you.
OK! DO see a psychiatrist! I’m going to be making an appointment with a therapist right after I finish this message. I promised my GF. Gotta gotta do this. *sigh*
DO get on a SSRI – Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor – Prozac, Paxil, Zoloft, etc, or whatever the Psych reccomends. Here’s the deal: these drugs really do help, but by themselves they are nowhere nearly as effective without decent therapy.
DO drop your Psychiatrist like a deformed hot potato if you don’t feel like you can trust them or communicate with them. But find another!
Once you feel like life isn’t crushing you so bad you can make real changes. DO tell your friends and family where you are at, but tell them to shut the fuck up if all they can do is trot out negative horror stories about therapy, drugs, “what you really need to do,” “you should have done X back when,” etc.
Forgive yourself if you have dark days. From here on out it’s going to be two or three steps forward, one step back. You will have setbacks, but today’s setback does not mean tomorrow will be a failure.
Lastly, keep coming back here. If you falter someone here will lift you up. If you feel better tell everyone how it happened. You will be helping others!
Good hunting!
Wow. Thank you very much.
The way you tell me really convinced me that just maybe, Iām able to change. I do hope so.
Thank you very much for the advices. ?
I wish goodness for the both of us then. Cheers.
Glad to!
I made my call but I gotta wait until Monday to find out when my appointment is. So now I’ve gone from not wanting to get help to disappointment that I have to wait. I am a yo-yo, but so is everyone else.
Yup. I’m waiting ’til Monday as well.
I hope the session would be okay.
They would be a stranger so I dunno if I can really speak. Hmmm…
Well, good luck for the both of us. š
Hope you’ll get an earlier appointment. I don’t want you to wait for like another week. :/