I’d managed to stop relapsing several times, especially after my university counsellor informed my parents of my so called ‘suicidal thoughts’. But that horrible feeling of spiralling down into an endless black hole returned, and I just really don’t know who to go to anymore. I suppose I’ll continue dealing with these shitty feelings. I just really want to know if this is depression or bipolar disorder, or am I just having a bad day. I’ve been having these ‘episodes’ for close to 7 years now, and I’d always thought that everyone felt this way. Now that I realise that it’s not, I just want to know what the fuck is wrong with me. Going to a psychiatrist is completely out of the question, because my parents are completely against it.
It’s just that I’d get several weeks of feeling completely high and I know the fall is coming. And when the feeling of falling down an endless hole comes it just stays for fucking months. I just want to know wtf is this.
1 comment
It sounds to me like it could be bipolar. That’s really unfortunate about your parents. Could you talk to the university about it? It might be that getting an appropriate treatment could help you with the really low points.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. I wish there was something to help, but all I can do is say I’m sorry.