That is so terrifying and disturbing. I would not like it for myself and do not like it for you. It’s not real for them because they aren’t the ones having to deal with it. Don’t hate yourself you didn’t choose this, you don’t want this, it wasn’t your fault. I think you need to tell other people because the ones you are talking to are being very thick in the head. Find the ones who will take you seriously, they are the ones who have a chance of helping you.
This is not good. At all. I’m scared for you.
I’m sorry.
Thank you. I was very afraid to respond to you now, because I’m not in a stable state yet, and I was going to wait? But for me, waiting for the “right time” to talk to people turns into me waiting for weeks. That is why I’ve been drifting apart from the few friends that i have.
The people around me say that they aren’t real in that they’re just products of an unhealthy brain. Half, half of me believes them. But the other half can’t help but think that they are all wrong. Maybe the pictures are demons, or something else external. And nobody takes this fear of mine with anything other than condescension.
I understand you as well as i can about my self hate. And i don’t want to be an ingrate and try to refute you. I just wish i could sum up my reasoning in less words than would take.
The thing about things in your head is that they’re also real – and very powerful, which some people don’t seem to understand. The only difference is that, in many cases, problems in the brain can be changed so the nightmare ends. Have you seen any doctors about it? If you think you could be a harm to yourself or others, you should be given emergency care. That should include them trying to help define what they are and what they could do to help end the nightmare. It isn’t fair that you have to live like this. I can’t relate to all your problems… just some. I can’t imagine everything you’re going through but I understand some of the nightmare. I’m glad you decided to post here. 🙂 Please try to find someone who will take you seriously. It shouldn’t be a choice of this life or death.
Thank you, Trix, for the advice.
I have two doctors so far, but I may soon need a third– a neurologist, I think.
I really want believe that they will be able to fix my brain, but after so many years it’s really hard to have hope. This nightmare feels intertwined with me, a part of every atom of my body and maybe even my person. Escaping myself often feels like the only escape from it.
I’m medicated and everything. And for a while that worked. But even at my sanest the pictures were never completely gone. They’re thinking about putting me on an anti-psychotic. I’m really scared about it all. But thank you, again, for the good advice. I’m glad to have posted here too. 🙂
As long as you’re alive, please keep trying. Sometimes you have to pretend to have hope to get any further. And if you post here, we’ll try remind you not to lose hope. 🙂
I know you’re scared, but I hope if you try it you’ll find it helpful. There’s a fairly high chance you will, so fingers crossed. 🙂
6 comments
That is so terrifying and disturbing. I would not like it for myself and do not like it for you. It’s not real for them because they aren’t the ones having to deal with it. Don’t hate yourself you didn’t choose this, you don’t want this, it wasn’t your fault. I think you need to tell other people because the ones you are talking to are being very thick in the head. Find the ones who will take you seriously, they are the ones who have a chance of helping you.
This is not good. At all. I’m scared for you.
I’m sorry.
Thank you. I was very afraid to respond to you now, because I’m not in a stable state yet, and I was going to wait? But for me, waiting for the “right time” to talk to people turns into me waiting for weeks. That is why I’ve been drifting apart from the few friends that i have.
The people around me say that they aren’t real in that they’re just products of an unhealthy brain. Half, half of me believes them. But the other half can’t help but think that they are all wrong. Maybe the pictures are demons, or something else external. And nobody takes this fear of mine with anything other than condescension.
I understand you as well as i can about my self hate. And i don’t want to be an ingrate and try to refute you. I just wish i could sum up my reasoning in less words than would take.
Oh, and please don’t be sorry. Because so far you’re the only one who’s actually listening to me. And I’m extremely thankful for that.
The thing about things in your head is that they’re also real – and very powerful, which some people don’t seem to understand. The only difference is that, in many cases, problems in the brain can be changed so the nightmare ends. Have you seen any doctors about it? If you think you could be a harm to yourself or others, you should be given emergency care. That should include them trying to help define what they are and what they could do to help end the nightmare. It isn’t fair that you have to live like this. I can’t relate to all your problems… just some. I can’t imagine everything you’re going through but I understand some of the nightmare. I’m glad you decided to post here. 🙂 Please try to find someone who will take you seriously. It shouldn’t be a choice of this life or death.
Thank you, Trix, for the advice.
I have two doctors so far, but I may soon need a third– a neurologist, I think.
I really want believe that they will be able to fix my brain, but after so many years it’s really hard to have hope. This nightmare feels intertwined with me, a part of every atom of my body and maybe even my person. Escaping myself often feels like the only escape from it.
I’m medicated and everything. And for a while that worked. But even at my sanest the pictures were never completely gone. They’re thinking about putting me on an anti-psychotic. I’m really scared about it all. But thank you, again, for the good advice. I’m glad to have posted here too. 🙂
As long as you’re alive, please keep trying. Sometimes you have to pretend to have hope to get any further. And if you post here, we’ll try remind you not to lose hope. 🙂
I know you’re scared, but I hope if you try it you’ll find it helpful. There’s a fairly high chance you will, so fingers crossed. 🙂