Idk…

So ehm, this is my first time here but I thought it’d be a good idea using this instead of bottling it all up to myself like I have done for years. Growing up wasn’t the easiest, well I’m still growing up but when I was quite a bit younger, my mum met this guy, who wasn’t the best for her, my brother or I, we all thought he was so lovely at first, but then things started to get bad, he became abusive every once in a while but then I turned into everyday. He would never hit me or my brother but it mentally damaged us as he made us watch the kind of things he would do to our mum. After this it was so hard to trust any guy, even 5 years later, it takes everything I have to trust someone, guy or girl. Then there was March 1st 2015, I came out as bisexual, I had known for years about my sexuality I was just scared, I remember writing my coming out paragraph and I remember shaking like anything. Then there came the negative comments as there would be with just about everyone “you’re just a confused little girl” “greedy” “how can you like both? Make up your mind” and that really got me down, so down that I went back to how I used to cope with my pain. Hurting myself, again. I still feel down even now but I have started to control and find other ways of dealing with my problems, like when I want to cut, I write everything I’m feeling, or draw on my leg or arm the way I would with a razor, it helps so much, this is so long and I apologise but I really wanted to get everything off of my chest.