I have made a decision, one that I hope I won’t be hated for because ill be doing that already. I’m going to give my daughter up for adoption, I’m going to be homeless soon, I still can’t get government assistance much less housing (it’s very hard to come by) and the cold weather is getting worse. My daughter can’t live like this anymore, my job as a cashier barely does anything for us I wish I could work full time but it’s only me who takes care of my baby. Her father loves her but is a deadbeat. He says he’s focusing more on school but isn’t it possible to focus on both school and your child? Seriously, correct me if I’m wrong… is it bad I ask him, beg him, fight with him to take care of her even take her a fucking weekend? I mean his shitty parents seem to think I ask for too much of him. Hahahaha, apparently according to his mother I’m taking advantage of him. Whatever, his disgusting dad and submissive mother are the least of my problems. I looked around some at adoption websites and I came across a couples profile. Married men, grew up where I live, currently living in Cali. They seem amazing, I’ve spoken to them and they seem like the parents my daughter deserves. I domt think you guys understand. I love my daughter with all of my heart, she is my life, my reason for not going mad, my reason I love this shitty earth. She’s my everything, my love, I see the stars in her gorgeous, big eyes. To have nothing to offer this beautiful child, just breaks me. Destroys me. She didn’t ask for any of this. This was my fault. Everything that has ever happened to her was my fault. I’m supposed to make sure she’s well fed, clothed, happy. Sometimes I don’t eat because she needs to. Sometimes I won’t have enough cash and our groceries have run out. How can I be a good mother when all I have to offer her is my arms. No food, o proper care. Who do I think I am? How could no one in her family want to help her? This beautiful amazing child? Her own family abandons her. Me. Well I guess I deserved it, but she doesn’t. So anyway. I’ve already started the process but her stupid dad doesn’t want to. I shouldn’t call him stupid. Of course I still love him. But he won’t even stand up to his parents to help me out, not even to take her in so she won’t be put up for adoption. He has nothing to offer either. He can’t even afford diapers I’ve asked for 3 weeks ago. So I’m sorry baby girl. I’m so sorry, don’t ever think I didn’t love you. You we’re and forever will be my whole world. Hate me if you need to but I love you to the moon and back, you are my soul mate
4 comments
You love her so much that you are willing to do the best possible thing for her, even though it will take her out of your life. That is a very big, very brave decision.. it’s one i wish was made for me.
This isn’t something anyone should hate you for, if it happens you aren’t ‘abandoning her’, you are giving her a chance.. i have so much respect for you. If the adoption does happen, you could ask the couple if they would be willing to give her a letter from you when she is old enough.
This wasn’t your fault at all. You are very young to be in this position, and i think a lot of things led to you being in this place, many of them out of your control. The way you describe her it’s so clear how much you care. my heart hurts for you.
I completely understand your decision. I think the fact that you want her to have a good upbringing shows how much you care about her. No one should hate you for making that decision.
The only thing that makes me concerned is that you’ve said some very critical things about yourself, like that you’re pathetic, and I think you might not see all the good that you could do and are already doing for your daughter. Don’t think that you have nothing to give her. I know your situation is incredibly difficult and you feel like you can’t provide for her, but I think it will change. I don’t think your boyfriend’s parents will do nothing for you if there comes a point that you really have nowhere to go. I think someone will take you in if and when things get really, really desperate. You’re under a huge amount of stress and pressure right now, and this is a lifelong decision.
The couple you’ve spoken to will probably make wonderful parents, but please don’t do this unless you feel that you need to and you’re completely sure. When you said you sometimes don’t eat so she can, and you’re working all the hours you can to take care of her… it was so clear how much you love her. You’re an amazing mother. I just want you to know that. I’m not trying to sway you one way or another – I just wanted to say those things. I know you can decide what will be best for both of you. Whatever you decide to do, you have my full support. 🙂
You don’t understand, her dads mom has already told me and my neighbor “even if she wanted to take me in she couldn’t because of her husband” they dont really care. In fact when she was around 5 months, the dad asked for a DNA test. That late. I put up with their disrespect and abuse ever since the begining of the relationship. When I was 16 the dad told my ex that he didn’t trust me because I wasn’t a virgin. That is disgusting and so inappropriate I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to cause issues but that was the begining of their abuse towards me. And I didn’t stand up for myself. Now with my baby, I won’t put up with their crap because that’s just a disrespect to me and her and they call me disrespectful because of it. They’re not good people as much as i wanted to believe, just because they had more money and did this as a family because my family was so messed up
I never got help from my daughters dad he too was a deadbeat … I was 16 when I had her now I’m 28 and she’s 12. It was a hard struggle for me but I pushed through it. I really pray everything goes well for you a child is the toughest job. Do what’s in your heart and keep pushing on…. Fight the good fight ??