So I’ll give you a brief overview of my life.
I’m 14 nearly 15, I know I’m young and I haven’t experienced life properly.
When I was little I was so happy.. I hope so atleast. My life should be so happy ive got great friends and my family. Well atleast my mum my dad still cares but sometimes he gets angry. I know this girl who likes me and well she’s willing to end her life if I end mine, girls huh lol.
Anyways my depression started around 9-10 years old and no one ive talked to has felt the same way of depression. I wake up, realise I didn’t die in my sleep from whatever I keep seeing and feel horrible. Its liked a ghost she’s pretty weird. But the depression keeps killing me slowly, plan to kill my self after parents die and get everyone to leave me so I’m alone, in my head thats perfectly fine. I get is ions of murdering people who hurt me, blood from thats etc.
I feel a hole in my heart I dont exactly want to kill my self but I want the pain to stop, it doesn’t want yo ever stop. Killing my self is the best way. Hopefully I can live out my Life because I do want to know whats out there. Ive cut not because of depression but I find blood fascinating. Maybe I will end up dead in time but everyone will forget later in life.
2 comments
Everyone dies. Everyone will be forgotten. Unless you subscribe to mystical belief then there are no big answers about why we are here. “Life is what you make it.” Trite, but true.
I suggest you stop cutting yourself and start hitting the biology books. See if you can get an internship at a morgue. It’s a weird job but the people that work there tend to be hilarious. You’ll have plenty of opportunities to study the ways of blood.
Thank you very much, i keep looking back on this comment if i feel like i have nothing to do with my life