So I had that dream again. You know – that dream of the last time you felt truly happy. You relive that past experience time and time again in your dreams. And you have this dream, and it’s so amazing, wonderful and happy. And then you start to wake up. And the happiness starts slipping away as you wake more and more. And the depression takes a stronger hold and screams, “Ha-Ha! FUCK YOU! That wasn’t real! IT’S ALL GONE!” So you want to sleep, but can’t because “that dream” might happen again. So sweet, and yet so devastating.
Yup. Been there my friend.
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I dreamed last night that I was in a room with six other people and we were all dying together. I went peacefully to sleep, and then suddenly – BAM – we had all survived and were being interviewed by a journalist about our experience. Three said they were glad to have survived. The rest of us were upset that we survived.
So you were on kind of a extreme version of the Survivor TV series? 🙂
LOL 😀 There didn’t seem to be any media involved until after the attempt.
After the journalist was done interviewing us, we were sitting in a restaurant and everybody picked up their menu to select what they wanted to eat, except me. I just felt like I couldn’t pick up that menu, like it was so wrong to be ordering something to eat when I wasn’t even supposed to be there.
You’re lucky. I can’t remember the last time I was really happy, let alone having had a dream about it.
However, I have had several dreams where I was still working at my last job, before I was STUPID DUMBASS enough to quit it back in March in a moment of stupid f**king emotional impulsiveness – the best job I ever had (& will probably have).
Then I woke up and realized I was still unemployed. And life still sucked.
I was sitting next to him, so in love. Those blue eyes, his smile, just to listen to his voice was more of a meal than I could ever hope to consume.
then I would wake up and realize he had left me. Years ago. With no real explanation.
I thank Jesus about one day a month I never dream of him any more.