New years about a month away.
Somehow i want this year to finish yet i dont want 2016 to start.
Cus nothings gonna change, people always say stupid fucking shit like, new years resolution and turn over a new leaf.
But the truth is we will all be the same.
The people better than me(almost everyone i know) will keep getting better and ill still be stuck in the same old shit.
And ofc, she still wont know i love her and will continue to ignore my existence.
My acedamics will keep on falling till they hit the ned rock.
And finally, i will keep on detoriating till i finally drive myself to suicide
And funny thing, i never can, drive myself to kill myself.
Always too fucking afraid. I guess one day ill need to get drunk and then do some crazy shit.
And finally the world would breath a sigh of relief as finally they got rid of me.
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5 comments
Nor do I :/. New year, same bullshit. And maybe if were lucky well be completely shitfaced on new years and get mowed down by a bus. Or unlucky I suppose, depending on your point of view.
I think a quick and swift death is what i need right now.
If not death, i really badly need a reset button. So that i can do a lot of things differently.
Besides, now 2016 can only go more badly, given my mediocre attitude and average intelligence and the fact that my self confidence is very low but my ego is just as vain as it was before.
Oh what I would do to be able to go back even a few months. Thinking like that doesn’t get us anywhere though does it. Maybe we can hope to do better after all this holiday shit blows over. For now we can take solace in the rising statistics and mass of new stories. As sick as that may seem, its makes me feel better for some reason. The fact that so many others have escaped, maybe I will too one day.
I usually just read survival stories or family interviews, and am usually awed by the courage it took.
People say suicide is a cowards way. I think its one the most courageous acts in the universe.
Fighting against your bodies basic instincts, thats tough.
I don’t want to say something like that, like the new year will change everything or some similar shit. No, you’re right, that’s not true. Not at all. But still someday things could change and I really hope that they do and that you can finally be happy (again?). Still I just wanted to tell you, that I read your post and can really understand what you feel like. Nevertheless try to hold on even though I know it might be hard, but that’s the only advice I can think of.