I failed you baby, on 1-18-15 I fucked up and I failed you. I wasn’t there for you when you really needed me, my bipolar wasn’t medicated or known yet and I freaked out, I made the worse/stupidest mistake of my life and I kicked you out our house when you needed me. I failed you in every way possible as your man that day, and I failed our lil family… I tore it apart. I’m the reason we’re not together anymore. I got help, I knew something was wrong and I got help…found out I’m bipolar and have anxiety, I go to therapy/ counseling for it, I got on meds to be a better man….I just wanted to become better than that pathetic piece of shit me who failed you, pushed you away, broke your heart and let you down again. I wasn’t perfect the three years we was together, my bipolar had so much to do with that, and I’m just a stupid man for the rest. But you don’t believe I’m even bipolar, or care that I have gotten help and I have gotten better. You want nothing to do with me, you won’t talk to me, and you said you moved on. All I wanna do is be with you, all I want to be is a better me for you…but I’m just the worst piece of shit to you. I failed and you’ll never want to give me a chance or even let me be a part of your life. You mean EVERYTHING to me, and I love you with ALL I am…and I can’t do it anymore. I fought, I got better, I made myself a better man just for you and to tell me you moved on.., broke my heart. I can’t be with anyone else, you were my first, you was my all and I have NO desire to see you with another man. To see you and him have everything we dreamed of, kids, a wedding, a future….I can’t do it. So bye baby I’m ending my life tonight. You’ll never know how you saved me from years of such a dark depression. You made me feel alive. And all I can say is I’m sorry I let you down 1-18-15_ I’m sorry I failed you as your man, and I’m sorry I wasn’t even strong enough to not do this. Please don’t feel guilty baby, its nothing you did, I failed you. Love you more…. RG3
6 comments
@CRA: are you still there?
I’m still here, just getting things ready. Printing this off for her then I plan to be on my way…
I’m sorry your life has come to this. There are many understanding people on this forum. Why not postpone this until tomorrow night and read and post a little?
death isn’t going anywhere and you may discover a life line.
I’m tired of hurting, I’ve fought for her and her forgiveness/understanding for almost a year and I can’t do it anymore. I can’t cry myself to sleep another night wishing I was holding her. I know it won’t fix anything but I can’t keep living like this and I don’t want to see her with someone else one day. My mind’s made up, I have everything in order. I just regret I hurt her.
I also destroyed my family. For some of us, thats the best life has to offer. Its a long way to fall, good luck.
My mental illness has destroyed yet another relationship. He has lost patience with me. Said I’m selfish. Said that I’m giving my issues power over me and won’t accept another apology. He’s broken up with me countless times but this time is different because I harassed him about something he’s asked me to stop in the past.. While his dog is dying. I feel like shit.