I am going to end it these days. I want you to know that no matter what problem you have in your lives it will always be a brighter way. The thing is that in the world are losers and winners. I am a loser, even if have / will have everything this darkness that is inside of me won’t go away. Btw, you are always in control. No matter what happened to you, you are always in control. Don’t be a fucking depressed guy like me and go and live your life at your fullest. Do whatever makes you happy. I am sure that after I’ll die I will be called loser , wanker or good guy. The thing is that I always lived my life for others and forgot to live it for me. I lost my faith in god and became an atheist and when I go to bed I can’t sleep because no matter what I will have in my life I just can’t forget that after death is nothingness and I have been through such a lot of shit and it was only my fault because I was a *****. I don’t wanna be a ***** anymore. I want peace. The only thing that comforts me is that after I pull that trigger it will be peace.
Goodbye guys, happy life 🙂
11 comments
Costy, I’m sorry you’re leaving, and I do wish you peace.
Costy, its sad to see that you’ve reached the end of the road. May you find the peace you seek.
Find hope costy. I know salt has given you great words of wisdom on previous posts….please read them again. You matter. Hugs.
Do you have his email or something ?
Costy I don’t but I do have sammies and she talks to salt. If you want, I can contact sammi and have her provide your info to salt. If you want me to, just email me at my username at hot mail . co m
I am going to say please don’t kill yourself.
You could try to follow your own advice one last time before dying, i mean the “go and live your life at your fullest. Do whatever makes you happy.”. In a way i think that you might want to read your own post, but as if someone else is directing it to you. Your outlook on what you want to do might change a bit because… heh, winner and losers? you’re not born either, and it’s just a label that you carry due to people naming things something. You can always at least try to turn things around if you really care for it, regardless of what labels others have put on to you. Whatever you end up doing i hope you find peace, but really… from your words i kinda get the vibe that you’re still not ready to give up yet (i might be wrong tho… as usual, hah).
I’m sorry.
If you are adamant on the decision, I respect that and I wish you a speedy and peaceful journey.
However, forgive me for the following but imho:
Why end it all now?
At 20 you have alsorts of potential ahead of you. I agree with Mf that your own advice is solid. Surely there are a couple of things you’d like to do still? Also, and forgive me if I overstep a mark here, but just because we turn to soil after we slip from our mortal coil, I dont think thats a good reason to give up sooner. Besides. Like you said. We are all in total control of our lives, rolling the dice one last time might throw something unexpected. And if a loaded gun is the only alternative theres literally nothing to lose.
I’m sorry, I dont know what you suffer through and I have nothing solid to suggest. I just think you havent reached your awesomeness/potential yet…
Anyway in this situation what would killz do?!
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Someone send me a message i’m lonely
I can’t deal another night of insomnia.