Just came from work, and im wondering how funny things are you know.
How pointless can we get, how hard it gets when one way that you can get conforted to live is that you know that you can die tomorrow somehow, this is sad, and deep, and it hurts.
How hard is to keep going when you got no proof of nothing , when you know that you can be great or nothing, but the only thing that u are sure is: u failed hard and you lost the light, is not only a loss, is even worst, is part of you, the living part?
And to help you out, you start seeing things that you cant believe, is it like a nightmare?
Than you loose all faith in humanity, and you start asking yourself, isnt it suppose to people have standards and shit? Well and the conclusion that u start to get is like, well people does, or they say, but in the moment of true they dont care, they are just selfish and liars.. and nobody really gives a damn if you hurted or hurting, or helping or those things.
I can talk for me, i dont wanna become a hater, a person full of angry, a dark cloud, someone that does not believe in nothing.
I hate the pain like everbodys else, but for me the part that kills you slowly and painfull is when u are stucked, when you have nothing to live for, when you lost, when you cant live, when you cant die, when you are offside.
And jizz to tell the true , im sure that theres people around that can relate to this, mix of feeling and empty at same time?
Before i publish this crap.. like a friend of us posted days ago.. im at, u write a full text than you delete it because you cant even understand if it makes sense. But i wont, got nothing to loose , maybe someone can relate to this 🙂
14 comments
Allitends , I think everyone on here can relate in some way or another. I don’t know how to keep going either and maybe I just wasn’t meant to…? I still haven’t lost all faith in humanity though. In that I still have a little bit of hope for. There are some people out there who are genuinely kind and those are probably the ones that get taken advantage of and suffer the most. But something keeps them going right? Something keeps looking forward and helping without asking for anything in return. So when you feel down and beat, maybe you can have hope in that.
I dont believe in “mean to be” you know. Once i did, or i wanted to. It was very nice and beautifull but we need to put the facts back together, theres no such thing, so many people suffering every new day so things are what they are, theres no magical..my guess.
It is here where the point dies, sometimes we dig só deep that is very hard to get out there.And i deeply believe that theres thing in life that we loose forever , if we can get something better? Maybe , sometimes, sometimes we dont. Its very hard to replace great things.
Thats very true, When ppl is kind and sweet, and transparent , they just get faked up, already told here, to ppl like that everypne expect perfection , maybe they think We are not human, and well you know the rest.
Its well know that world is a jungle. Life is about survivance, thats where ppl get it wrong. We are no different from animals, we just have other tools , we know how to trick ea other better , i call it creativity xD
The truth is that we could do much better as a race, as the ‘superior’ race, but it does not matter bc it is what it is.
Hope that we all can make it through becuse theres always that strange feeling that make US to do not want to die, some kind of inside struggle.
Im so sorry about the long text to anwser you but im very profund voice xD
You’re pretty awesome, Allitends. You’re awesome for not allowing bitterness and hatred for everything to consume you. That takes a strength that very, very few people have.
Humanity can be pretty disappointing. But a friend of mine taught me this game once. Every time you see someone being awful, or every time humanity lets you down, try to count all of the good things you’ve ever seen in your live. Every time you ever saw a good deed or someone’s good words. They don’t have to be directed to you. And see how many good things you can remember.
Each time you play, try to remember a higher number than you did before.
Maybe that’ll help you, at least a little bit. Best wishes, Allitends.
Thanks you for the tip, it is true, i still see many good thing, i wish i could know that people in real life.
Its always hard when you grow up building something, and it alll gets destroied by ur own hands and some extra help from the person that were building up with you since ever.
Like the song says, ill be okay, not today, not tomorrow, one day.
Like most of us, i do believe that i need a big super giant thing to recovery myself.
After this, im broken and stucked, i wont change my self either because of all the shit.
Still suffering still hoping, maybe one day ill be smiling at this, maybe i dont even get there, no one knows.
Greetings, whiskered.
I relate. I have to say that i did lose all faith in people and hated everyone for years, including myself. Not that i don’t hate myself anymore, but i think that it’s more a “find people who suit you, and you suit them” other than people being inherently bad. Sort of a simplistic way of seeing it, i know, but i’ve seen and known so many kind and/or talented people in the same train of thought (here on sp and irl) that i can’t deny that… yeah, some people do have standards similar to mine (and i’m guessing it can be the same for you).
There’s also the fact that people change, standards change, and general life conditions too (which in turn creates more changes… lol), so… i guess different strokes for different folks (at different points of life) applies here. I do agree with whiskered fish’s comment that it’s pretty awesome that you don’t succumb to the anger, because it’s pretty easy to fall into that. You talk about failure but you know? that’s already a big win imho.
Heyzz Mf.
Thats a pretty dark palce to be in, i wont get there, because i want to be like this, kind and sweet, i like to be transparent, mind free you know.
On my situation is very hard to do not feel life like a competition, but i wont make it a competition, im who i am, i suffer my pain, i live or not my life, i dont want to make something or need something because the person does.
Im no better or worst, I’m me.
i dont want to get attached to nobody, i dont want a dark passenger (dexter thing), i need to forgive myself, evntually i will but not alone, i can’t do this by my own.
And i dont share the same thoughts about people changing, because they dont, useless they are kids growing :p
People just shows how they really are you know? When the boat hits the rocks and start sink, thats when you see, what else they have waiting for you.
Like i said and i cant get tired of, its very hard for me to handle the fact that i’ve failed once and i dont get half a forgiveness , half try, or half opportunity.
Its hard, very dark, when you see everthing falling apart, the perfection to the darkness in one step, your best, your past, all you are, its like nothing matter.
I cant avoid, that feelling.. what’s the point of fighting? what’s the point of buildig something? You feel like eventually it will fall in disgrace, it will eventually blow in ur face, eventually after all you will not get the chance to fix it, or to try.. you may not even get the chance to “use” the lessons that u had to learn
Thats only my point, nothing else.
Cheers mate
Should have worded it better, because i do get what you mean when you say people don’t change. I guess that term should understood in the lines of: people’s goals change, and accordingly, their actions to get there change depending on their circumstances and experiences. Sure, a person’s essence is not likely to be changed, but everything that’s built on top of that might, and that might affect how that particular person is perceived by others. And that’s partly the problem i guess, because you’re never dealing with how a person really is, you’re dealing with how you perceive them instead. But, heh, enough rambling on that haha.
I do get that feeling. That’s what landed me on hate land for quite a while. Why build something is everything is bound to end? why keep on going if we’re all going to die?… no idea. That’s something that likely only humans beings are blessed (cursed?) with, the ability to question existence itself. All i know is that as long as there’s something that i want to do, i’ll do it, because i can, even if it amounts to nothing. Why? no idea either, but if i sort of enjoy doing something, i won’t question the why, because that takes away the joy of it since i already know the answer to that question. I might get to use some of those lessons or not, but doing everything for a logical reason does have it’s cons at times.
That said… even dexter was learning to live with his dark passenger, and he wasn’t really alone for most of the series. He even admitted at several points that he couldn’t do it alone, and that was pretty well developed. Well, at least that was before the series turned into wacko-land/jumped the shark and dexter ended up living as a freaking lumberjack in the middle of nowhere, fighting bears, lol. Cheers.
“Well, at least that was before the series turned into wacko-land/jumped the shark and dexter ended up living as a freaking lumberjack in the middle of nowhere, fighting bears, lol” dont remember that i will end my life right now lol
Yeh i get what you said, it is true, but its not the case i guess, anyways its getting to deep ahah
Actually i dont really question myself why do i live, but i think its pretty fun how we do live, how do we have no faking anwser to so many things, like those u mentioned…
I get it, its human thing i guess, since we enjoy its all good.
Im getting blank again, deleting sentences lol because im not even sure about to tell you, because i feel everthing that i can tell about , its just my opinion and it changes nothing right?
I know so well, life is not about deserving or being good, but well i do still believe that i deserve forgiveness and second chance, like so many of us.
Because we all are human, we all fail eventually.
My time is running up, i can’t wait forever, or maybe i do?
I feel like im different, im not an usuall person, i had the chance to be great and i fall into the abyss, the great question is, did i fall or did i get some push ?
Not blaming anyone, just wondering, because i see things, i know that im the guilty one, but well sometimes, its not all about you, you cannot do everthing by ur own u know? Usuall i admit that, i act like yes i can do and undo you know? when i believe i dont care, i just go though it, i cross the hell. And even after that if i failed i still think that i could have done better, fak me right?
That’s the beauty of it, it’s all opinion. Even objective truths that we accept every day can be made-up bs. And well, tbh my comments are also, highly opinionated, because they are my opinion, lol.
The thing is (imho) to be comfortable with your beliefs. That’s why i don’t go outside and try to convince everyone that life is futile, because hey, who am i to tell them what to do?. On the other hand, i am me and i can decide what i want and don’t want, and i also decide what part of other people’s “truths” suit me. So your opinion does change things if you want to.
As for second chances… heh, i’ve given some people 20th, even 30th chances, but there’s no limit to the chances you give to yourself, regardless of deserving it or not. In the end tho, does it matter if we’re deserving of another chance? maybe it does, but more important is going through with it. Regardless of taking forever or doing it right away, the things is… using that chance eventually.
That’s another fun thing, the “i could have done better thing”. Hell, if i was better at school i could be curing cancer, but it already happened, so there’s no point in beating myself up for that stuff, because i’m paying the consequences and that’s sort of enough… i’d be a millionaire if i could cure cancer, lol. Whether you achieve greatness or not is something highly subjective, because so many great things go under the radar, and there’s so many different forms of defining what greatness is that… well, even enduring another day could be see as something amazing. But i’ll guess i’ll stop my rambling here (and sorry for writing so much, haha).
Now excuse me while i go write my Dexter vs Wolverine: Bear Apocalypse fan fiction.
Ahah, where are we going..
This is getting that part that i lost, beliefs and opinions and ways to live and so on..
I dont know, it always will have somehitng else, another view, another opinion, another way, another excuse..
Soemtimes i wish i could be like Dexter, why caring or feeling? IxD
Dexter and wolverin, what a messy :p
Thanks for posting allitends. Your posts help
Thanks me for using your time to read my vent.
Thank you allitends. Your posts always help.
Thanks i guess.
Not sure how i can help, but if it does, its very nice.
I like to come here , actually sinnce i joined i do always hab a tab with SP opened.