Today was… An Okay Day.
That’s a little better. It’s better than what I’ve been feeling for the past 3 weeks.
I have less anger, less rage, less pain, less everything I’ve been feeling lately.
I feel safe for the first time in months. I’m less paranoid. Took a walk on my own with no fear. No need to constantly look over my shoulder and scrutinize every single person walking behind me. I felt free.
I smiled a genuine smile. I could feel it. It wasn’t forced or fake like the ones I’ve been giving. It was a real smile.
I don’t know what’s happening, I don’t know how this can just miraculously happen, but I feel okay. I cooked. So that definitely means something has changed.
One thing I want, is for the holidays to be over already. I seem to be more depressed and suicidal when it’s the holidays. Probably because I have to fake smiles more than usual. It’s exhausting. Just 2 more weeks. I’m sure I can hang on.
I’m hoping tomorrow will be even better. Or better yet, just the same as today. Taking it one step at a time… One step at a time…
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“If the day does not require an AK, then that day is good”. – Corporal Person, Generation Kill.
(Ain’t exactly verbatim, but that’s how I remember it.)
One step at a time; one foot in front of the other. Or else you’ll be trippin’ like I do sometimes. But hey — I’m glad you’ve gotten a break from those savages.
Peace on.
Most of my days require an AK. It’s usually not pointed at me. Although, I would like nothing more than to turn in on me at some point. But yeah, things have been better.
Glad to see you’re still pushing on Shep. I know things have been hard on you lately. Hope you find peace.
Glad it was okay day. 🙂
There’s always alittle magic on caturdays, okay is better then bad, it a start or. Nice break. the walk sounds nice, did you visit your tree ? :)try to harvest that hope in you and latch on to it, most times all we need is alittle bit of inspiration to find motivation,you having and okay day makes me feel better, mine up and down hope and fall I hope it end in hope
Put this day into a save little treasure box in your heart. When/if things get worse again, pull the memory out to remind you that that’s hoe it can be. And one day you will find that most days will be like that, and the dark says will be a distant memory.