I have been struggling with depression for quite a while now. It hit me hard in March last year and it ended up with a suicide attempt that was close to being a success in late October.
After my suicide attempt i decided to make a change, but after i had a big breakdown at my birthday in december i realized that it wouldn’t happen.
To my surprise i got a job offer abroad, i have been here for a couple of weeks now, and things have been great ever since i got the offer really. But today i felt it was coming back, and it’s coming back worse than it has ever been.
I don’t know what to do, this is a once in a lifetime oppurtunity for me, and if i lose this, i will probably end it.
There is no way for me to seek help w/o my employer finding out about it, and i know i can’t stop it myself.
What do i do?
9 comments
Do you think your employer would fire you for it?
I’m not sure
I don’t think he can. I’m not certain on that, though.
What country is he in? Unless you don’t wanna say.
I don’t think he can fire me because of it. But I have signed an agreement to inform my emplyer of any change in my health state.
In most of the developed countries psychologists have to keep patient data confidential. In many cases they cannot and will not inform your employer. Even if they do, they cannot share the details or the reasons of the treatment. Unless you are working for military/intelligence services and several others. You can check your personal situation by calling a psychologist, not giving a name and ask him/her if the counseling can be kept confidential.
As far as I understand your depression is recurring, worse than before. I also have the same experience and I’d really seek outside help before it is too late.
What country are you in?
You have options. First of all: your life is the most important thing in this situation. Think about it – if you don’t get help you won’t be able to experience amazing other opportunities in your life like this one. And chances are, you got this offer, you’re going to get more. I’m sure you are a very diligent smart guy/girl to have been offered something that amazing! Congratulations.
My first semester of college I was offered the chance to go abroad (to Paris) for the semester. The offer I got from the college I would be going to in the US was that I could be a sophomore admit if I maintained a minimum 3.3 GPA, which almost everyone achieves. I was really depressed at the time and was so upset with myself for not being able to enjoy my time there like everybody else. I was so anxious and depressed that I couldn’t even focus. When I became suicidal I tried to push myself to work harder because I needed to go to this college – it was my dream college. Unfortunately, I was in such a bad state that I had no other choice but to leave. I actually lost that first semester. Keep in mind – I needed to maintain a 3.3 GPA all throughout freshman year to get into this college. Losing my first semester, I was pretty sure I blew my chances at admission to this college. But with perseverance, putting my depressive thoughts and negative voices in my head aside, I focused on the facts of the situation, with help. Being in such a depressed state, I needed to seek help to figure out my options. (Remember: it is NEVER a sign of weakness to reach out for help. In fact its a sign of strength and character that you know you need to take care of yourself.) With outside help, I figured out a plan that I proposed to this college to still gain acceptance as a sophomore. They agreed, and today I’m a student here.
No matter what voices or depressive thoughts you have – stay strong. Seek help. You are SO valuable for yourself, your friends, your family, and the world. No matter what games your brain is playing on you, trying to bring you down, fight back. Take care of yourself first and foremost. There is ALWAYS a solution. And trust me, this is coming from someone who was very suicidal for a few months in her life. Call this number if you need a (professional) to help you. This number is a suicide hotline – the people are trained individuals: 1 (800) 273-8255. This is the American one, being abroad (I don’t know which country you’re in specifically), but look up the number for that country. There is absolutely someone there to help you.
And if you would like to call me personally, please feel free. I’m here to listen and to help.
1 (310)-880-8252.
Stay strong. <3
I’m in the UK, but as I said, i have to inform my employer of any change in my health state. I’m not sure how much “professional help” would actually help, as I don’t feel comfortable talking about this face to face.
Wow, that’s a little invasive. Hmmm. Your employer is in the UK? I don’t know employment laws for the UK only the USA. I know in the USA there are EAP (employee assistant programs) to confidentially help out employees for this exact thing. They are obligated by law not to share health information, in fact HIPAA law protects health information on a lot of levels too. I don’t know if the UK has any kind of protection about health and employment, including mental health.
Any UK people here know anything about employment laws?