She took the dog

I’m grieving all over again, losing that dog.

She had given her to me originally, when she left me, but then this weekend happened.  I went crazy and my dad gave the dog back to her, afraid I wasn’t coming back.

And now she’s keeping her.  Says the two dogs have rebonded, even though when she gave her to me, she said they’d both adapt and be happy.  And she was happy with me and my parents.  She loved running up and down the stairs.

I feel like this is just cruel.  She knows how much the dog means to me.  She’s said herself that she’s like my baby, that I was the one who potty-trained her, that I was a good dog mom.  She’s said that a dog is a good pet for someone depressed and lonely.  And yet she’s taking away the dog.  I feel like she’s trying to punish me. How could she have lost all empathy and love for me in just a period of a couple days?

I can’t even stand being in my own home anymore. Everywhere that little dog should be- peaking out from underneath my covers, sunbathing in the light coming through the windows- she’s not.  My parents both sent her emails that were basically pleas to let us have the dog.  But even my parents think my ex is being mean, that she no longer has empathy for me.

This hurts more than anything.  I’d do anything to get the dog back- I’d even check myself into a hospital, which is what my ex had wanted me to do. I miss my baby, my heart is eviscerated. Again.