I recently broke up.. and its my 2nd break up n in both relationship’s I was very serious.. when I had my 1st breakup my friend , helped me to get over it.. and I fell for him.. and also he lykd me so he took great care of me n helped a lot to move on.. and eventually I started lying him and loving him.. I don’t knw whether it was wrong or right.. I loved him.. and I loved him a lot.. more than I have loved anyone ever.. but he left.. even though he knew I would be devastated, he knew how broken I was after my 1st breakup.. but he didn’t bothered… now I doubt whether he actually loved or not.. its more than a month and I tried everything to get over him… forget him.. but I m not able to.. I want him back.. know that wont be possible.. he wont ever come back… I don’t know what to do.. I try to live my normal life.. but its too hard.. when I am around people I smile, I pretend I am ok but deep down I want to cry, deep down I am completely shattered just want to end my life.. so that for once and all this pain ends.. I cant take it any longer.. and there is a feeling inside me that I am not good enough for anyone or anything.. I am not worth anything to anyone.. I feel no one would ever love me.. no one would every want me…theres nothing left and no reason to live.. but still death wont come to me.. I tried to kill myself but I was saved… I need a way to end it.. either me or this feeling…
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Varisha, i say end the feeling 🙂 you can do that! with a little more time, then guess what you will be in a new relationship, hardly any of them work these days, your just another victim of love, no reason to end it for that. 🙂
I had a true love and he shot himself at our kitchen table. For awhile I was lost and wanted to die myself, then I figured out that I should never put my happiness in someone else’s hands. He made his choice to end it, to leave me but in the end it made me stronger. There is a big world out there, many more experiences to have and people to meet. It was scary and lonley and still I am homeless and struggling to make it, but I learned to be ok by myself. I am in control of my life and my choices, including the choice to be happy or not. Instead of needing someone to feel safe and ok, I realized that I AM THE ONLY ONE who can really do that. Much love to you friend, I hope you find your own balance within and LIVE LIFE!
Ah this is so sad. Your loss is palatable this morning. Start walking. One foot in front of the other. The love you feel, felt will continue to feel in the future is part of who you are but it need not define you. Your loss is a ball of pain wrapped tightly like a ball of yarn. Gently take the end of the yarn and start walking slowly forward, the pain will slowly unravel. The more you walk, the more it unravels until you have something you can make something new from. Keep talking, it help to, to the people on this forum, to someone IRL if you have anyone you trust that much. I don’t so I mainly just talk here. Anyway, thank you for sharing. Thank you for making my life a little easier by sharing your experiences.
I am trying.. but nothing seems to be working… its like I have lost a part of me.. I dont even like myself anymore.. I have that feeling in me.. that I am not worth anything…. and better than living a life where I have to be alone throughout I should just die.