Last week I thought I was starting to get better. I started to let go of my depression, trying to live normally and forgetting about everything that cause my depression. I thought I was doing well. But right now, everything… everything is starting to come back. Everything is starting to fall apart again. Everything is breaking. I’m now being consumed by my depression again and I can’t control it anymore. Maybe I can’t ever be saved from my mental illness. Maybe this is my fate. Maybe life isn’t really for me. And I’ve decided, I’m going to end this fucked up life.
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What is April 2? It’s a date of significance for me. I won’t bore you with why. I’m sorry that you’re suffering right now. Maybe it would help to write here why you are so hopeless right now. Did something bad happen to you?
It’s the date I’ve decided to end things. If you’re asking me if something bad happen to me, actually, my whole life is a shit. I don’t know if you will understand but I don’t see any reason to live.
I feel like that, too. Like maybe I can’t escape this. It’s painful… It hurts.