Last night I had two films I edited screen to a sold out audience of thousands and receive huge accolades. At the after party there was no shortage of people congratulating me and showering me with praise for my work. It was very fulfilling.
And yet, that night when I went to bed and the first thing I thought of in the morning was “I want to die.”
I can’t live like this anymore. It’s exhausting beyond belief and there really is no joy to be had. I swear, I only really got through the after party because of all the drinks I had. In fact, this entire morning, I’ve been excessively miserable and grumpy.
Happiness is something that is for other people. Me, my only friends are self-loathing and depression.
1 comment
Maybe your joy is waiting somewhere else. Kudos on that double edit success tho, i’m guessing that you must be really talented at what you do, but even if you are… yeah, sometimes what you’re talented at isn’t what fulfills you.