There are so many moments during my day where I reach a moment of defeat then quickly resort to thinking suicide is the solution. I notice that the issue is far too deep to fix and I don’t have the energy to be able to fix it. But when it comes to the end of the day where I’m suppose to make the decisions and get the things I need, I go numb.
At this moment of my life I’m soooo bad with choices and it’s making this final one harder.
I just want my suffering to end, my heart is foolish enough to think it’s going to get better but my brain knows it’s unlikely.
I wish I was normal and had normal people problems.
Thanks for reading
1 comment
Hey blank-clutter, I wanted to let you know I read your post. I don’t think suicide is the answer tonight either. I think your best quality is that your heart is foolish enough to think it is going to get better. I am the same way. No matter how awful or rock bottom I hit, my heart just keeps telling my brain that it will get better. lately I’ve just been happy to be one rung above rock bottom. I think, well hell, at least I’m not rock bottom. Then I hit rock bottom and think, well hell, there really is no place but up is there.
Yes your foolish heart is just my kind of heart. Foolish hearts unite!
I’m exhausted, why am I still up?