Searching for jobs is basically a combination of a lot of the things I hate most about life. Being rejected over and over. Being judged constantly. Fighting social phobia to contact people you haven’t seen or talked to in years, asking for introductions to other strangers. Trying to fake a smile and fake a sense of confidence, particularly after having been rejected over and over. Reading job descriptions and feeling more and more depressed at all of the desired qualifications and experience I don’t have. Sending resumes out into what feels like a yawning void.
Ironically, I’ve had a few people contacting me about job openings that are basically the same as the one that contributed to my current burnout, and in the same location where I’ve been circling the drain for years. I can’t do that. The thing is, I don’t know whether there’s any particular job I actually do want. And after my last job there are a lot of things I’d probably be considered overqualified for.
And yeah, if Hell is real and I end up going there, I’ll probably be spending most days sending out cover letters to demons and interviewing with the Devil.