Do I have to spend my life trying to try? Trying to fix things? No. Wrong question. But yes, being alive is being hopeful. Hopeful? Even though life eats you up all the way from the inside before it even begins to show on the outside. I’m talking about the scars you have from letting blood, because that makes sense; you cut yourself and blood escapes the crease that separates what binds the skin together.
Nor the bags under your eyes caused from endless sleepless nights or disturbed sleep caused by misread and confounding dreams that make you want to avoid sleep, one of the only things in this world that’s naturally an amnesic; sort of.
Nor the damaged liver you probably have gotten from the nightly ritual of consuming alcohol that’s habited itself into your sad, uneventful life.
Nor am I talking about the short-term memory you’ve developed from being inebriated on benzoes or abusing other drugs everyday just to try to go by your day and most especially to drown the bastard that’s only beginning to learn how to swim.
There’s probably more than just that? Am I missing anything else?
2 comments
You’re not the only one who is suicidal i’m surprised the box of pills and alcohol still sit in front of me… Mocking me… TBH I’ve given up with life if i’m not successful I go away for a year -.- better make it worth my while. Your not missing anything else on your post. No you don’t have to spend your life trying to fix things. It’s like paint and thinner you can paint and put so much color in your life or you can use thinner and make everything disappear into nothingness… Yes I basically described Epic Mickey Power of 2 do I give a fuck no.
-Suishi
I drown my thoughts with ways im not proud of. I lie to family so they do not worry. But they worry.i hsvnt found a reason but if choose to live at my own free will then i might have a chance at a life once again. Its hard to face my fears, regrets, the past. Because i am truly sad n depressed