I’ve always had an addictive personality. I’ve fought addiction to various drugs, alcohol, things that most people wouldn’t consider addictive like green tea, or Gatorade. Basically I can create a habit anywhere, with anything.
My most recent addiction, false hopes. Now I don’t mean being overly optimistic. I mean, hanging on to an idea that has less than 0.01% chance of happening. It’s what has kept me going lately. The downside, every time reality rears its ugly head, it’s soul crushing.
Maybe I’m delusional?
12 comments
I got that addictive personality as well funny u said that I made a habit of anything mine also is green tea =D
When you’re doing your drug of choice, you feel on top of the world because all of your problems seem gone far away. The problem is being sober and facing your reality. Depending on how bad your reality is, being sober can be traumatising. I’ve always been addicted to something too. Life is boring sober. Sooooo boring, but at least I started forcing myself to work out again. It can help sweat those toxins out and make you feel better. Hopefully it will make you think about drugs less.
False hope is all I have so I get it. We try to convince ourselves things will turn around, but what if they don’t and you just end up wasting more years holding on to nothing. That’s what’s been happening so far in my life.
That’s one thing I fear holding on for no reason I’m also sobar and reality is traumatising
So far I’ve been able to just stay with caffeine and nicotine. And my delusional thoughts.
I’ve never wanted to work out. I’ve tried a few times.
Green tea?
and…. Gatorade?
I’ve tried green tea, and surprised by the utter lack of flavor.
Awhile after that, Haagen Dasz came out with GREEN TEA ICE CREAM.
I thought “Now that should be good. If anybody can make green tea taste amazing, it has to be Haagen Dasz.”
I tried it.
It was like ice cream with no flavor added.
The color of weak bug guts.
If even Haagen Dasz can’t make green tea taste good, no one can.
I steep mine for a ridiculously long time. If you can’t taste it it’s too weak.
That’s how I make peppermint tea and lemon tea…. steep it for so long that the fumes could probably blind an unsuspecting bystander.
Green tea just never seemed to want to amount to anything no matter how long I zapped it with the defibrillator.
Well, maybe you should look up how to properly tea bag again? Lol, sorry, I’m delusional…
Tea bag… (!!)
Yeah, that’s a Google search I won’t forget anytime soon.
😮
(In my best Chubs Peterson voice)
It’s all in the hips, say it with me.. it’s all in the hips..
Hm, I have highly addictive tendencies as well. So are you clean at the moment, is that the .01% chance, the chance that you will stay clean and not relapse. I understand that false hope, I really do. Just because I have been on a cyclical tirade for nearly 3 years, and I see no end in sight.
In all honesty, I don’t feel delusional thinking I can stay clean, it’s the people around me that make me feel that way. Anyway, if I projected too much of my own fears about addiction then I apologize. Also, I found something today that I think might actually help me as far as addiction is concerned, if you’re interested I can link.
Also, I was just going to encourage you to by into that .01% chance, I believe that’s what some people call faith, yet I am 100% non-spiritual.