Something dark has brought me back to this place, suicideproject just can’t be erased from my mind even after years. Ive had this ongoing struggle of unhappiness, and I can’t see to win the war.
even now a little older, and have a respectable career happiness hasn’t come. My job as a firefighter has only made me numb to seeing what death really looks like. Pulling half of bodies, limbs and charred remains from houses, mangled bodies from vehicle accidents, spraying off the walls of the people who spattered brains all over
Every once in a while you might save someone and make a difference, but did you really make a change? Its usually the same kind of people that have the same problems.
There is a 7 story drill tower where I work for training and whatnot. I wondered what it would be like to tie a rope to the top and jump off, just thinking of the horror of the 400 people daily that work there to find me. It would be so high up even if i changed my mind it would be to late, least someone would get some nice death benefits.