My apathy is starting to overpower me again. The meds don’t seem to be working anymore and counseling only turns the apathy to anger. An endless abyss or a destructive wrath: what is the lesser of two evils? Sure, I want to destroy humanity but I’m not an anarchist. I’m just a realist.
Even if humanity doesn’t wipe itself out with war, environmental destruction and overpopulation, cosmic forces will do it for them. Assuming humanity could transcend age one day and become cyborgs/androids, would there still be depressed people? Wishful thinking, that is.
I’m tired but I can’t die despite my wishes… I’m not meant to be a savior when I couldn’t care less about people. This loneliness is painful but there is no cure for this poison. I want to kill all of you just to see if I will be judged as an angel of mercy or a devil of sin if God exists. That is the extent of my apathy.
2 comments
Meds made me very detached from everything.
I used to fantasize about taking over the world and all that fun stuff, It was a coping device for my insecurities.
Let me ask you a painful question. have you always felt this way about people? tbh when I was a kid I was indifferent to everyone but my mom. Skip forward 9 years we moved to Florida and I became a complete dick.
Yes.