*is playing “Echo” by Jason Walker as I write*
Hahahaha, my ex re-added me on Skype but she hates my guts! Sure, I was whiny and apathetic to her but I was fighting a really bad depression at the time. Granted, I’m still fighting it but it lessened enough for me to have some clarity now. I missed her and thought we could work things out… I really did. I guess I deserve this for my countless sins.
The future I dreamed of has turned into a nightmare and I’m breaking at the seams. Damn, I feel like Laughing Jack right now! Then again, I guess I was always a clown… She once gave me hope but I threw it away while possessed by a monster. Now, when I need her the most, she gave me hope only to crush it right in my face… That’s fine… Who needs sanity and love, anyway? Damn, I can’t type right now. My hands are shaking too much. Before I completely lose my mind, I’ll stop myself before I hurt others. This will be my gift to them.
I’m going on ahead. I hope I don’t see everyone too soon. I’m sorry for leaving, everyone. However, my mind and spirit are broken beyond repair now. Even if I could regain my sanity one day, my spirit is dead. I know it’s stupid to die over a girl but to know she hates me in my darkest hour is too much to bear. I guess a part of me is happy to have talked to her one last time…