In the past month my life seems to have gone from about a five (being ok and slightly happy) to a zero real quick. Almost all my friends have moved and I am actually alone for the first time in a while. I almost forgot how terrible the feeling was. Everyday day I’ve been repeating in my head “I wanna shoot myself, I wanna shoot myself, I wanna shoot myself, I wanna shoot myself, I wanna shoot myself..” I’ve also started to imagine me killing myself at school in the bathrooms or somewhere like that and wondering if anyone would actually care. But its not like they would…they don’t even know me.
Everyone seems so happy around this time of year. I wonder, why? Is it because its spring and flowers are blooming, nice weather, and fun is coming their way? Why can’t I ever be this happy? I always find a way to weigh myself down…It amazes me at the same time
2 comments
If your friends have moved away and you now feel lonely. Why don’t you try to make an effort to make new friends?? There is lots of ways to make friends these days. You can hang out in a coffee shop and chat with people. You can use online places like Craigslist or something and make a post in the friends looking for friends section. You can try to attend some kind of social event in your area and try to make friends that way.
Try not to repeat to yourself that you want to do that. Instead repeat to yourself > that things are getting better.. things are getting better.
How you talk to yourself in that inner voice > has a lot to do with what happens to you in your real life. Try to think positive and speak positive. And try to find positive things to do with your time.
Things can get better
Metalgore, “Everyone seems so happy around this time of year. I wonder, why?” How strange it seems to me the opposite, everyone is upset, tax time, to me people been pretty gloomy? going through the motions. the walking dead! I know you like that show! 🙂 who doesn’t? EERRROOOWWW! Brains!!!!! CHOMP CHOMP!!!
BILLY BOB: OH LOOK SUSIE IT’S ONE OF THOSE ZOMBIE THINGS! AWWWW! SUSIE SHOOT HIM IN THE HEAD!!!!
SUSIE: OK BILLY BOB!!! BANG!
BILLY BOB: FUCK N L SUSIE!!! YOU SHOT HIM IN THE BALLS! I SAID AIM FOR THE HEAD!!!
SUSIE: BILLY BOB!!! I WAS AIMING FOR THE HEAD!!
BILLY BOB: NOW YOU’VE GONE AND PISSED HIM OFF RUN!!!!! AWWWWWWWW!