If only I could meet her now…
A girl that see’s me for my troubles and doubts.
Someone willing to reach out their hand to me, help me out of this mess.
I’ve created it for myself, this world of hurt I call my life.
So far any sort of opportunity or chance at redemption has never come my way.
I fight alone, and sure I got friends but when I need them the most…they’re never there.
Can’t tell you how many times I dream of a life where I’m happy.
No shit too, I’ll have dreams where I am with her again.
But she’s always out of my reach.
No matter what I do, my dream ends when she’s finally gone.
Can’t someone just stay in my life for once?
Can’t someone just put there trust in me that I’ll never leave?
When I ask these questions, I seem to end up asking whether or not it’s all my fault.
Yes…I don’t trust easily
Yes…I don’t have much faith in friends and family anymore.
Yes…I hate myself in and out.
But where does it come from?
Is it because I want to give myself a reason to die, or do I genuinely want a good life?
Who the fuck knows, those are the deepest questions about me that I can’t seem to answer.
I need help figuring that out, I want a love like I had before.
I’m waiting for the day that I can find that love again.
4 and a half years is a long time to be without the comfort of another person.
I feel isolated, I feel unwanted, I feel useless.
I don’t want to be alone anymore.