I was camping in the wilderness for a week. On the second day a feeling overwhelmed me that I was alone. Very alone. I wasn’t in tears, but it was a depression that settled over me and I couldn’t shake it. I sat on the ground. The sun was high and sky was clear. I sat looking at a stand of trees for some reason and sinking deeper into my aloneness. A cow walked out of the trees, stopped and looked directly at me. Then a raven flew overhead so close I could hear its wings swooshing the air. I burst out laughing and realized I’m never alone. I make my aloneness in my head. The reality is that aloneness is impossible. Anyway, that’s my experience. Hope you find yours. Hope you find peace.
Why do you think it’s impossible to have relationships? If your reasoning is not due to a pervasive physical illness, maybe you should do some soul-searching, and figure out what kind of emotional/psychological blockages are stopping you.
They might have originated further back than you think.
Self-awareness – trying to understand your own motivations and behavior… can help shield you from sabotaging yourself and your future opportunities. ‘Knowing thyself’ and coming to turns with your past and present (remembering the good and forgiving the bad) and acknowledging your current strengths and weaknesses (where you should compliment yourself, and where you can improve), is your best weapon against allowing your own mind – or other people – to brainwash you into negativity and self doubt.
There is nothing wrong with solitude, but most of us want to share at least a small part of our world with someone else.
I agree with most of what you said, but mental illness can be equally as crippling in certain situations. As someone who even gets anxiety being around my parents, any relationship would be a struggle if that was all I had to deal with, not to mention the lack of fairness for my partner.
Considering how I was in past relationships, it’s definitely the more reasonable decision to stay out of them.
It’s not really a feeling of loneliness. It’s like I’m standing in a circle and everyone else is standing outside of it. The feeling of being restricted and knowing I can’t leave that circle is what bothers me.
Processing your request, Please wait....
6 comments
I was camping in the wilderness for a week. On the second day a feeling overwhelmed me that I was alone. Very alone. I wasn’t in tears, but it was a depression that settled over me and I couldn’t shake it. I sat on the ground. The sun was high and sky was clear. I sat looking at a stand of trees for some reason and sinking deeper into my aloneness. A cow walked out of the trees, stopped and looked directly at me. Then a raven flew overhead so close I could hear its wings swooshing the air. I burst out laughing and realized I’m never alone. I make my aloneness in my head. The reality is that aloneness is impossible. Anyway, that’s my experience. Hope you find yours. Hope you find peace.
Thank you I enjoyed this haha 🙂
Why do you think it’s impossible to have relationships? If your reasoning is not due to a pervasive physical illness, maybe you should do some soul-searching, and figure out what kind of emotional/psychological blockages are stopping you.
They might have originated further back than you think.
Self-awareness – trying to understand your own motivations and behavior… can help shield you from sabotaging yourself and your future opportunities. ‘Knowing thyself’ and coming to turns with your past and present (remembering the good and forgiving the bad) and acknowledging your current strengths and weaknesses (where you should compliment yourself, and where you can improve), is your best weapon against allowing your own mind – or other people – to brainwash you into negativity and self doubt.
There is nothing wrong with solitude, but most of us want to share at least a small part of our world with someone else.
I agree with most of what you said, but mental illness can be equally as crippling in certain situations. As someone who even gets anxiety being around my parents, any relationship would be a struggle if that was all I had to deal with, not to mention the lack of fairness for my partner.
Considering how I was in past relationships, it’s definitely the more reasonable decision to stay out of them.
I understand the need for solitude but personally don’t enjoy feeling lonely.
It’s not really a feeling of loneliness. It’s like I’m standing in a circle and everyone else is standing outside of it. The feeling of being restricted and knowing I can’t leave that circle is what bothers me.