Hope you’re feeling better… I always find that the worst times of my life are the few days after a suicide attempt. I hate trying to hang myself because it takes far too long and I always end up doing it wrong and them it really hurts. But it’s also symbolic to me that have the rope around your neck and have kicked whatever from beneath you, there’s no way out. Just like all the bad things we feel – suicidal, depression and anxiety, etc. Hope you’re feeling okay and that something good happens to you today because it’s tough… stay strong
What did happen? Can you tell us more about your situation? Maybe someone could offer you a comforting word. I am sure that there are people who have been through similar experiences.
I am at my wits end in life. Normally I am able to pull through when things get tough but lately I am seriously considering killing myself. I understand that everyone goes through life drama but I don’t think I am strong enough to carry everything on my shoulders anymore. I am 18 and as of right now I feel alone. I was raped from the time I was 7 until I was 11 by my stepbrothers and their friends. I never said anything to anyone because (as a little girl) I believed what they told me .. That they would break up my family. I was bullied all through out middle school and moderately throughout high school. I started smoking weed to help me feel better and it worked, I was able to put all of my emotions behind me and act like nothing was wrong. Recently, well about a year ago, my family found out about my habit and life has not been the same. They began to stress me out because they were concerned.. But I was able to keep them at bay because I would lie to them. I told them the truth because I did not want to come off as a drug addict and lie about my usage. This made things worse. I have tried to hard to talk to people about my issue but everyone ignored me because of the strong face I have out on in front of society which made everyone think this was another problem I could handle on my own. I used to cut myself when I was in 10th grade – 11th grade and I had thoughts of suicide every day. I even tried to drink bleach. None of my attempts were effective enough to put me in the hospital because I was scared of being survallenced 24/7. I began to smoke heavier and I actually started to feel better and do well, I even got myself a full scholarship to school and was in the top 3% of my class. But I feel that I am severely depressed these days. My parents abandoned me when I was young and as a result I live with my grandmother. She was my rock. Even though she took me in on her own, I began to feel like a burden and still do. We have been fighting lately and she told me that I am a drug addict and she is embarrassed to have raised me. My family only cares about me when they can be there for the benefits that I have earned such as, free baseball and basketball games (in suites) and dinners at luxurious venues. Although I have accomplished more than an average 18 year old, I feel so lost and empty inside. I often talk to my boyfriend about my feelings and he believes it is my environment that is causing my depression, and I agree. But no one is grasping the fact that my WHOLE life, I knew everything was going to be ok because I could always depend on my grandmother, now she wants nothing to do with me because I smoke weed here and there. She thinks I am going to do crack or something – and no matter how many times I try to explain my situation to her she makes it clear that she does not see me as hers anymore and she is always quick to disown me by saying she’s done with me, and turning me over to my father, who once again ABANDONED ME! he lives in our house but is not apart of my every day life. The only time he says something to me is to ridicule me calling me stupid *****, slut, whore, junkie, crackhead, you name it .. I think I have a bright future but I can’t stand to look at myself or live anymore because I hate where I come from (my parents, my environment, and The way I am). I feel that if I kill myself, I will no longer have to feel this pain of being a burden. All i have done is try my best to be accepted by my family but I am never good enough. I just wanted to be appreciated and not ridiculed and criticized for every action I have done WRONG in my life. No one ever sees the good in me. I have one friend, and I feel that we are drifting apart and I can’t talk to her about what’s really going on because she is too busy with her own situations… I don’t know what to do anymore. Nobody knows what to say to me
hanging is a rough way to go. You really have to suck it up and endure the pain. But if a person does it right you only suffer for about 3-4 minutes.
but I am sorry that things have gotten so bad for you that you are at this point of attempting.
what is going on in your life that makes you want to exit so badly.
do you think there are any solutions to your issues.
I am at my wits end in life. Normally I am able to pull through when things get tough but lately I am seriously considering killing myself. I understand that everyone goes through life drama but I don’t think I am strong enough to carry everything on my shoulders anymore. I am 18 and as of right now I feel alone. I was raped from the time I was 7 until I was 11 by my stepbrothers and their friends. I never said anything to anyone because (as a little girl) I believed what they told me .. That they would break up my family. I was bullied all through out middle school and moderately throughout high school. I started smoking weed to help me feel better and it worked, I was able to put all of my emotions behind me and act like nothing was wrong. Recently, well about a year ago, my family found out about my habit and life has not been the same. They began to stress me out because they were concerned.. But I was able to keep them at bay because I would lie to them. I told them the truth because I did not want to come off as a drug addict and lie about my usage. This made things worse. I have tried to hard to talk to people about my issue but everyone ignored me because of the strong face I have out on in front of society which made everyone think this was another problem I could handle on my own. I used to cut myself when I was in 10th grade – 11th grade and I had thoughts of suicide every day. I even tried to drink bleach. None of my attempts were effective enough to put me in the hospital because I was scared of being survallenced 24/7. I began to smoke heavier and I actually started to feel better and do well, I even got myself a full scholarship to school and was in the top 3% of my class. But I feel that I am severely depressed these days. My parents abandoned me when I was young and as a result I live with my grandmother. She was my rock. Even though she took me in on her own, I began to feel like a burden and still do. We have been fighting lately and she told me that I am a drug addict and she is embarrassed to have raised me. My family only cares about me when they can be there for the benefits that I have earned such as, free baseball and basketball games (in suites) and dinners at luxurious venues. Although I have accomplished more than an average 18 year old, I feel so lost and empty inside. I often talk to my boyfriend about my feelings and he believes it is my environment that is causing my depression, and I agree. But no one is grasping the fact that my WHOLE life, I knew everything was going to be ok because I could always depend on my grandmother, now she wants nothing to do with me because I smoke weed here and there. She thinks I am going to do crack or something – and no matter how many times I try to explain my situation to her she makes it clear that she does not see me as hers anymore and she is always quick to disown me by saying she’s done with me, and turning me over to my father, who once again ABANDONED ME! he lives in our house but is not apart of my every day life. The only time he says something to me is to ridicule me calling me stupid *****, slut, whore, junkie, crackhead, you name it .. I think I have a bright future but I can’t stand to look at myself or live anymore because I hate where I come from (my parents, my environment, and The way I am). I feel that if I kill myself, I will no longer have to feel this pain of being a burden. All i have done is try my best to be accepted by my family but I am never good enough. I just wanted to be appreciated and not ridiculed and criticized for every action I have done WRONG in my life. No one ever sees the good in me. I have one friend, and I feel that we are drifting apart and I can’t talk to her about what’s really going on because she is too busy with her own situations… I don’t know what to do anymore. Nobody knows what to say to me
I just wanted to quickly say that I read your story and think you sound awesome. I know that may be of little help, but there you go. I hope you can find a way to keep your grandma in your life, since she seems to have been a steadying anchor for you. I also hope you can find more anchors like that.
If you post more then once a day, your previous posts will be deleted… Maybe type stuff out on a separate note pad and at the end of the day copy and paste and then publish it because it’s important that you’re able to have your posts so you can go back and see how you’ve grown or to remember how you felt at the time
You sound amazing! I go to therapy twice a week and support groups once a weak. I get so sad that I have to do all these things just to put myself in a happier state(for that moment) but its all worth it. I can’t leave my children. Feel better…keep writing us and keep looking for encouragement
You sound amazing! I go to therapy twice a week and support groups once a weak. I get so sad that I have to do all these things just to put myself in a happier state(for that moment) but its all worth it. I can’t leave my children. Feel better…keep writing us and keep looking for encouragement
Hey, I you need to stay alive because people should meet amazing people like you, you just don’t see it. Simply just typing your story on this website has made an imapct on people’s lives, we’ll certainly mine anyway and you never know if it’s actually going to be better when you’re dead. Things can always change, stay strong 🙂
I’m not amazing. I feel like shit everyday. Thank you for trying to make me feel better but you don’t know me. Maybe this is what I deserve, I need to kill myself because I’m a worthless peice of shitt
No, I don’t know you, but I know that what you’ve done and who you are isn’t enough to deserve to die. Put it this way, if you were worthless and nobody cared about you, why are all these people commenting with support?
14 comments
Hope you’re feeling better… I always find that the worst times of my life are the few days after a suicide attempt. I hate trying to hang myself because it takes far too long and I always end up doing it wrong and them it really hurts. But it’s also symbolic to me that have the rope around your neck and have kicked whatever from beneath you, there’s no way out. Just like all the bad things we feel – suicidal, depression and anxiety, etc. Hope you’re feeling okay and that something good happens to you today because it’s tough… stay strong
What did happen? Can you tell us more about your situation? Maybe someone could offer you a comforting word. I am sure that there are people who have been through similar experiences.
I am at my wits end in life. Normally I am able to pull through when things get tough but lately I am seriously considering killing myself. I understand that everyone goes through life drama but I don’t think I am strong enough to carry everything on my shoulders anymore. I am 18 and as of right now I feel alone. I was raped from the time I was 7 until I was 11 by my stepbrothers and their friends. I never said anything to anyone because (as a little girl) I believed what they told me .. That they would break up my family. I was bullied all through out middle school and moderately throughout high school. I started smoking weed to help me feel better and it worked, I was able to put all of my emotions behind me and act like nothing was wrong. Recently, well about a year ago, my family found out about my habit and life has not been the same. They began to stress me out because they were concerned.. But I was able to keep them at bay because I would lie to them. I told them the truth because I did not want to come off as a drug addict and lie about my usage. This made things worse. I have tried to hard to talk to people about my issue but everyone ignored me because of the strong face I have out on in front of society which made everyone think this was another problem I could handle on my own. I used to cut myself when I was in 10th grade – 11th grade and I had thoughts of suicide every day. I even tried to drink bleach. None of my attempts were effective enough to put me in the hospital because I was scared of being survallenced 24/7. I began to smoke heavier and I actually started to feel better and do well, I even got myself a full scholarship to school and was in the top 3% of my class. But I feel that I am severely depressed these days. My parents abandoned me when I was young and as a result I live with my grandmother. She was my rock. Even though she took me in on her own, I began to feel like a burden and still do. We have been fighting lately and she told me that I am a drug addict and she is embarrassed to have raised me. My family only cares about me when they can be there for the benefits that I have earned such as, free baseball and basketball games (in suites) and dinners at luxurious venues. Although I have accomplished more than an average 18 year old, I feel so lost and empty inside. I often talk to my boyfriend about my feelings and he believes it is my environment that is causing my depression, and I agree. But no one is grasping the fact that my WHOLE life, I knew everything was going to be ok because I could always depend on my grandmother, now she wants nothing to do with me because I smoke weed here and there. She thinks I am going to do crack or something – and no matter how many times I try to explain my situation to her she makes it clear that she does not see me as hers anymore and she is always quick to disown me by saying she’s done with me, and turning me over to my father, who once again ABANDONED ME! he lives in our house but is not apart of my every day life. The only time he says something to me is to ridicule me calling me stupid *****, slut, whore, junkie, crackhead, you name it .. I think I have a bright future but I can’t stand to look at myself or live anymore because I hate where I come from (my parents, my environment, and The way I am). I feel that if I kill myself, I will no longer have to feel this pain of being a burden. All i have done is try my best to be accepted by my family but I am never good enough. I just wanted to be appreciated and not ridiculed and criticized for every action I have done WRONG in my life. No one ever sees the good in me. I have one friend, and I feel that we are drifting apart and I can’t talk to her about what’s really going on because she is too busy with her own situations… I don’t know what to do anymore. Nobody knows what to say to me
I’m sorry 🙁
I wish things were better.
hanging is a rough way to go. You really have to suck it up and endure the pain. But if a person does it right you only suffer for about 3-4 minutes.
but I am sorry that things have gotten so bad for you that you are at this point of attempting.
what is going on in your life that makes you want to exit so badly.
do you think there are any solutions to your issues.
I am at my wits end in life. Normally I am able to pull through when things get tough but lately I am seriously considering killing myself. I understand that everyone goes through life drama but I don’t think I am strong enough to carry everything on my shoulders anymore. I am 18 and as of right now I feel alone. I was raped from the time I was 7 until I was 11 by my stepbrothers and their friends. I never said anything to anyone because (as a little girl) I believed what they told me .. That they would break up my family. I was bullied all through out middle school and moderately throughout high school. I started smoking weed to help me feel better and it worked, I was able to put all of my emotions behind me and act like nothing was wrong. Recently, well about a year ago, my family found out about my habit and life has not been the same. They began to stress me out because they were concerned.. But I was able to keep them at bay because I would lie to them. I told them the truth because I did not want to come off as a drug addict and lie about my usage. This made things worse. I have tried to hard to talk to people about my issue but everyone ignored me because of the strong face I have out on in front of society which made everyone think this was another problem I could handle on my own. I used to cut myself when I was in 10th grade – 11th grade and I had thoughts of suicide every day. I even tried to drink bleach. None of my attempts were effective enough to put me in the hospital because I was scared of being survallenced 24/7. I began to smoke heavier and I actually started to feel better and do well, I even got myself a full scholarship to school and was in the top 3% of my class. But I feel that I am severely depressed these days. My parents abandoned me when I was young and as a result I live with my grandmother. She was my rock. Even though she took me in on her own, I began to feel like a burden and still do. We have been fighting lately and she told me that I am a drug addict and she is embarrassed to have raised me. My family only cares about me when they can be there for the benefits that I have earned such as, free baseball and basketball games (in suites) and dinners at luxurious venues. Although I have accomplished more than an average 18 year old, I feel so lost and empty inside. I often talk to my boyfriend about my feelings and he believes it is my environment that is causing my depression, and I agree. But no one is grasping the fact that my WHOLE life, I knew everything was going to be ok because I could always depend on my grandmother, now she wants nothing to do with me because I smoke weed here and there. She thinks I am going to do crack or something – and no matter how many times I try to explain my situation to her she makes it clear that she does not see me as hers anymore and she is always quick to disown me by saying she’s done with me, and turning me over to my father, who once again ABANDONED ME! he lives in our house but is not apart of my every day life. The only time he says something to me is to ridicule me calling me stupid *****, slut, whore, junkie, crackhead, you name it .. I think I have a bright future but I can’t stand to look at myself or live anymore because I hate where I come from (my parents, my environment, and The way I am). I feel that if I kill myself, I will no longer have to feel this pain of being a burden. All i have done is try my best to be accepted by my family but I am never good enough. I just wanted to be appreciated and not ridiculed and criticized for every action I have done WRONG in my life. No one ever sees the good in me. I have one friend, and I feel that we are drifting apart and I can’t talk to her about what’s really going on because she is too busy with her own situations… I don’t know what to do anymore. Nobody knows what to say to me
I just wanted to quickly say that I read your story and think you sound awesome. I know that may be of little help, but there you go. I hope you can find a way to keep your grandma in your life, since she seems to have been a steadying anchor for you. I also hope you can find more anchors like that.
Hugs
P.S. I hope you choose to stay alive. I feel like the world so needs people like you. I need people like you to be here.
If you post more then once a day, your previous posts will be deleted… Maybe type stuff out on a separate note pad and at the end of the day copy and paste and then publish it because it’s important that you’re able to have your posts so you can go back and see how you’ve grown or to remember how you felt at the time
You sound amazing! I go to therapy twice a week and support groups once a weak. I get so sad that I have to do all these things just to put myself in a happier state(for that moment) but its all worth it. I can’t leave my children. Feel better…keep writing us and keep looking for encouragement
You sound amazing! I go to therapy twice a week and support groups once a weak. I get so sad that I have to do all these things just to put myself in a happier state(for that moment) but its all worth it. I can’t leave my children. Feel better…keep writing us and keep looking for encouragement
Hey, I you need to stay alive because people should meet amazing people like you, you just don’t see it. Simply just typing your story on this website has made an imapct on people’s lives, we’ll certainly mine anyway and you never know if it’s actually going to be better when you’re dead. Things can always change, stay strong 🙂
I’m not amazing. I feel like shit everyday. Thank you for trying to make me feel better but you don’t know me. Maybe this is what I deserve, I need to kill myself because I’m a worthless peice of shitt
No, I don’t know you, but I know that what you’ve done and who you are isn’t enough to deserve to die. Put it this way, if you were worthless and nobody cared about you, why are all these people commenting with support?