Home Stories of Loss a part of my autobiography that I submitted to my professor
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a part of my autobiography that I submitted to my professor

by nonexistingsoul

“I’m suffering from a mental illness and I don’t know when and how I got this but I can tell you what it feels like having this monster inside me. If ever a normal person would have a chance to feel and experienced what it’s like to be someone like me, I think they’ll go insane. I wish I was born normal like anybody else but unfortunately, I’m not. Everything I see and feel is different from a normal person. The shadows of nightfall seemed more somber and my mornings were less buoyant. I always feel like I can’t do anything right and I feel as though I’m drowning or suffocating. I have trouble in studying because I’m very forgetful and can’t concentrate on anything. Sometimes I lose my senses and can’t grasp reality and sometimes I feel all the emotion at the same time. I feel like I’m just a wandering soul looking for a body and I’m in a place where it’s dark and inescapable. Even if I’m surrounded with my loved ones, I feel like I’m alone. No one in my family knows anything about what’s happening to me. My friends know my condition but it’s not possible for them to understand. All I can say is, I’m apathetic and I lost myself.”

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