You know that feeling, when something is so close you think you can reach… And then you realize it slipped. And you were so sure it is done, before you “had it in your hands”… Miscalculation. A complete failure. I am not “me”, i don’t recognize myself. This is not happening. This is not supposed to happen. I’ve ruined everything. I’ve should known better.
I have problems accepting reality. I don’t know how i live. Like i’m in something parallel to reality. I am aware of reality but not the consequences. It feels like there are several “me” in my head and they are fighting all the time, i just can’t figure out what should i say/do in everyday life.
Does anyone have BPD (borderline personality disorder)? How the F do i live with that???
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I have borderline personality disorder I feel your pain. You have to come to a place of peace with who you are takes time. I struggle everyday. I’m still learning to accept I have BPD. To also love myself .
Then it takes a lot of time… I can hardly deal with myself. The strugle is exausting me. I can’t accept who I am right now, there’s so much negativity and hate towards myself.
The hardest was losing my family, boyfriend, friends…
Does it sometimes get better?
Depends on the day for me. Everyone is different. I am very exhausted. But their are times I can find something I like about myself. I’m sorry about your family, boyfriend, friends. I’ve lost to. Not every one can handle me. I am stuck with myself so im trying to love myself. By doing what is good for me. Some days I fail but I’m trying not to be so hard on myself. I’ve been through a lot. I’m still here. I woke up and am still breathing So that goes to show im a fighter. Strong sometimes not always. I have my dog to comfort me that helps. I listen to music. Dance when noones looking. Sing when I’m in the shower or driving. Whatever works. Right now I have a new attitude that if others don’t like me then they can walk on by. I have to work on me. And not try to please others who can’t be pleased.
You seem a lot stronger/better, i’m glad you are! And it’s a good attitude, try to please and love yourself!
I can’t really find anything to love about myself. Whatever i try to accept, it’s not good enough. I’m not satisfied with myself. I actualy have no idea what is good for me. I just live hour by hour, killing time. I’m always counting hours.
I have no pets, i can’t take care even of myself. The pet would probably die with me. I don’t know, i have no strength to improve myself, just watching days go by. Like everything i don’t like is just going to vanish…
I love it when it’s light outside rather than dark I also love stars but I’m afraid of the dark still
I don’t like dark neather.
I saw car accident today. Old women died 4 meters from where I was standing. I wish i was on her place.
I’m sorry that’s sad. I want to see my best friend but the way things are right now I know the feeling. I’m growing flowers. Hopefully it’s not too late for them it might be. It’s for my mom but I’m also growing sunflowers for me wildflowers for her. Well my adopted mom and birth mom who is deceased. It’s something to do at least. If I could I wish I could make my dreams come true oh well.
I’m so sorry about your mom 🙁
You know, at least you’re doing something for someone. I spent my days just counting minutes, walking from room to room, crying… I wish i could grow flowers or do something nice for someone… But the truth is… nobody cared about me.