Today I found appreciation

In metal music. It’s so weird.

Back then when I was listening around different genres I tried to check out metal to see what the big deal was all about. I think it was Metallica, around two or three years ago. I guess you could say, while I had the speakers on full volume, I was blown away (not in a good way) by the sudden barrage of different sounds at the same time. Ok, didn’t like it.

Come what may, fast forward to present time and anxiety or whatever feeling it was yesterday, was killing me. Something was fucking screaming in my head and I had no idea why it would be screaming at me but I needed a release. It’s horrible. Something worse than a migraine and symptoms of a heart attack. I tell myself to calm down, and all those calming techniques I learned over the internet, and even thought of updating this app called SAM to log in my anxiety times. So it turns out it’s kinda hard to rate your anxiety when you can’t even think straight. Oops.

Then I remember that we own a punching bag so I actually threw some punches…and then I got tired. It actually worked, but I felt like there was still some leftover horrible feeling. I was tired and suddenly I just wanted to cut myself, another type of release. And I almost did because I was alone but I kept thinking, No. Nonononono donotgive in. It kept going on like that and I was just so frustrated words and SOMETHING was still screaming in my head.

And then a brilliant idea. Metal. Music.

Why not? It might actually voice out the inner turmoil in me.

*goes to Spotify and checks out metal genre*

*nope, nope. I really want the heavy stuff with all that screaming*

*finds a decent named playlist*

*plays*

And with that, I am calm. The first artist that caught my ears, The Black Dahlia Murder. Thanks.

And to the guy or girl who made that playlist.