Hello. Time is just ticking away. I have to turn in this college application by Tuesday for some big name school in Massachusetts. I’m just not up to it. Every time I look at the application I just don’t want to do it. I’m sick of looking at it. I don’t want this anymore. I’m tired of it. It doesn’t even matter. Why do I try so hard when it doesn’t even matter. It’s like rolling down a hill. Once you start you can’t stop. No matter how much you want to, you can’t stop. They are starting to get suspicious. I don’t want to go back to therapy. It was just a waste of time. I’m starting to have this daydream of just leaving. Leaving everything. Quit school and just wander around the world. Go around working odd jobs and once I have enough leave for the next town. Rinse and repeat. Don’t stay long enough to know people. Never get a home. Sleeping in my shitty truck and bathing at a public pool. Never get a wife or family (not like that was going to happen if I stay). Just leave. Thanks for listening.
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Actually, once you start you can stop. I’d say the idea of wandering around the world tho? that’s the thing that if you got started, you wouldn’t be able to stop. You’d have no degree, nothing to fall back on, and you’d have to work in whatever you could find (that’s if you CAN find something) regardless of liking it or not.
IF you really want to travel the world and be on your own, wouldn’t a better idea be to just get some degree and then use that in order to travel/do your own thing? you could always work in anything else at that point too, but at least you’d have some sort of security. That might seem pointless now, but turning into *insert superhero running away of choice here* doesn’t quite work in real life as it does in the movies (if it did i would have done it years ago, lol).