2nd post

Feeling pretty crapy right now. My gun keeps staring at me. I had to remind myself that i havent left a note for my wife and family yet. She’s on her way home right now. She has to at least know whats going on right? nobody knows im suicidal, but they’ve known in the past i had been. At this point everyone would be in the dark. I need to at least write out some notes. I’ve tried writing some last few days but it’s hard to write out what you were thinking when you know that no matter how you write it they’re not going to understand it. I don’t care who responds to this or if it gets a response, I just needed to write it down for my own well-being. I don’t know how much i have left, like a canser, im just waiting for it to kill me. Im done fighting. Im done….as easy as it is to kill, when it comes to yourself, life sits on you a while. Drives you mad, like its mocking you. Waiting for you to do somthing about it. I’ll have you know, it will come….ive known this since i was 13. It will come. And 25 is soon enough for me