.. belongs to a really conservative strict high acheiving family where vulnerabilities or flaws aren’t heard of or accepted. YOu have to hide yourself otherwise you’re a disappointment and not good enough.
I cut where no one can see
I cry when no one is around
I drink when no one is watching
Every smile is forced. Every detail selected carefully as to maintain this facade.
Because of how i’ve been programmed, suicide is just a pleasurable dream.. a fantasy. Something i would go through with if it were just me making the decisions.. just for myself.
So i am stuck.. stuck in this life not really knowing who i am or what i really want. Probably am going to be miserable for most of it. Or atleast trying hard not to be miserable which is just exhausting and miserable in itself.
2 comments
No. All I can say is I personally don’t want you to suffer. I just want you to be happy on your own terms. Not that that helps all that much, I guess.
Would you like to be my penpal?